YO BRO IT’S ME LITTY » Blog Archive » The Steroid Name Game

My faves:

Pudge
He slimmed down, to the tune of 30lbs, during one off-season. Someone switched from peaches and cream for breakfast to just peaches.

Glenallen Hill
He didn’t swing. He flexed his chest and the bat moved.

Blogged with Flock

Major League Rule 3 (b) (5), which states no contract shall be approved "if it contains a bonus for playing, pitching or batting skill or if it provides for the payment of a bonus contingent on the standing of the signing club at the end of the championship season."

Blogged with Flock

We used to have a guy on my street who pitched like this, but he didn't have the same kind of velocity.  I'd say this is as unhittable as you can get.

1985, 1987, Ojeda and the hedge clipper, Orel Hershiser, they can't hit for El Sid, trading Randall K for no Johnny no, Ojeda for Hubie Brooks,  Wally Whitehurst, Trading Coney away, Pete Schourek and Eric Hillman, Anthony Young keeps losing and losing and losing, the worst team money can buy, Bret Saberhagan, Vince Coleman, Bobby Bo, Gooden's demons, I don't think McReynold's saw it right away, The Future: Pulsipher, Isringhausen, and Wilson, Butch Huskey, Bernard "I'll never hit like this" Gilkey, Kent for Baerga, Carlos Baerga, Rey Ordonez, Hideous Nomo, the Todd Hundley in leftfield experiment, Mel Rojas,  Piazza driving in 100 meaningless runs a year and grounding out into 100 double plays a year, Armando Benetiz...  Armando friggin' Benetiz, Kenny Rogers can't throw a strike, Izzy for Billy Taylor, Todd Zeile, Subway Series, Piazza plunked, Roger Clemens tossing wood, Mo Vaughn, Roger Cedeno, Jeromy Burnitz, Shawn Estes, Roberto Alomar, Tom Glavine, the Mike Piazza at first experiment, Kaz "I am under contract for $7 million to play short, even though I can't field the position" Matsui, Anna Benson, Victor "This is the guy we got for Kazmir?"  Zambrano, Doug Mientkiewicz, Kaz Ishii, Duaner Sanchez's cab ride, Mota juiced, Lima Time, Wright's second half slump, Shawn Green, Pedro hurt, The Catch... and they still lose, Yadier Molina, losing Bradford, Oliver, Bell and Bannister, Carlos Delgado, Reyes's second half slump, Mike Pelfrey, The Poison Pen, The Collapse.

They'll break your heart, these Mutts.

Wanted:  Bucket of baseballs.   Willing to trade:  Guillermo Mota.

Here's a question... where would the Mets be if instead of Pelfrey starting the season as the 5th starter, it was Brian Bannister, and instead of Schowenweis, Mota, and Aaron Sele, it was Chad Bradford, Heath Bell, and Darren Oliver?

Pelfrey 3-7, 5.24
Bannister 12-9, 3.61 (For the Royals!)

Schowenweis 0-2, 5.27
Bradford 3-7, 3.38

Mota 2-2, 5.91
Bell  6-2, 2.22

Sele 3-2, 5.29
Oliver 3-0, 3.36

The Mets let go of four pitchers from last year that could have had major impacts on this season.  So, if the Mets don't see this thing through, don't blame Willie... blame Omar.

We might not score 30 runs, but at least we'll get in a few pitching position players. 

Come on up to Central Park's Hecksher Field #2, right by Columbus Circle at 6:15 today (Friday, August 24th).  We'll try and get the first pitch off at 6:30, but if we have some 1.0 guys, they might need a little more time to stretch.  :)

Feel free to pull friends and folks from your companies...   we have extra spots.

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Can you handle a glove as well as you can handle code?

What's more lightweight?  Your Web 2.0 app or your bat?

Show up at Central Park (RSVP here, please) and play softball with the folks from nextNY.

Details:

What: nextNY Exhibition Softball (6-12ft soft toss, co-ed)

Two teams of 15.

10 in the field, 15 in the lineup subbing in defensively each inning.

When:  Friday, August 24, 2007 @ 6:15PM  (First pitch: 6:30PM)

Where: Hecksher Field #2, Central Park (by W63rd, use this to locate: http://urltea.com/16l5

Barry Bonds hit his 755th home run last night...

...off a pitcher who had previously been suspended 15 games for using steriods back in 2005.

How's that for ironic?

When Mark McGwire hit number 62, we were all pretty much excited for him... at least if you go by the ratings and the fannies in the seats.  That's because he was a likeable guy.  A likeable, acne scarred guy whose body was freakishly bigger that it had been ten years prior.  His head didn't seem to swell in proportion to the way Bonds had (literally and figuratively), but we knew what the deal was, and frankly we didn't care.

Last night, Barry Bonds was that nice guy.  He carried his son, dodged any questions about the controversy, and even pointed the spotlight on A-Rod and Tom Glavine during his press conference.  He was even gracious about the Bud Selig hubbub.

As a fan, I'll tell you right now, I could seriously care less whether or not Selig's ugly mug is at the 756 game and I don't think Bonds cares either. 

We all know what the deal is with Barry and not only would he have been a first ballot Hall of Famer regardless of the steroids, but A-Rod will likely break his record.  So, in the grand scheme of things, Barry is going to be a blip, and hopefully, so will Selig.   I don't know how someone gets to be elected commisioner or if they can be fired, but Selig has acted like a first class jerk this whole time.  Baseball never had drug testing before very recently, and benefitted greatly from the juicy home run chases of the late 90's.  Now we're "clean", but lets not pretend that Buddy boy wasn't looking the other way to protect the bottom line.

So, now that we're on the verge of history--a history like all other history, clouded by human fallibility--the least Bud can do for baseball is to sit back and watch another ball fly like the rest of us and allow us to move on.  Smile and clap or stay home, Bud.  I don't like Barry Bonds... I almost did last night... ok, I sorta did...  but this is my game and I'm behind it, and looking forward to the future.  Unless you were bashing McGwire out of the side of your mouth nine years ago, you have no right to muddy this moment now.

I just don't know what to say about the Mets.   Finally, David Wright starts hitting and the rest of the team completely stops.

And I guess Joe Smith realized he was Joe Smith, too.

But back to back to back home runs.  Dude...  Baseball 101.   If two guys hit home runs on you on two pitches, the next guy gets one right in the mouth.  Frankly, after you give up one, you should always throw behind the next guy. 

Somehow, we're still two up on the Braves, with the Phillies just three behind.

This team better start turning things around, especially now that the Yanks are winning.  If, at any point, the Yanks have a better record than the Mets this season, I think I'm going to blow chunks.

And Pedro isn't the answer either...  its not the pitching... they're not hitting.  They need to get Alou back and figure out how to hit in the clutch.

PS... I played softball last Friday night and the guy on the other team looked exactly like Pedro Cerrano.   I yelled out "Hats for Bats" from the outfield, but I don't think anyone got it.

Noticed this story on how Sen. Chuck Schumer contracted Lyme upstate....   it was sent to me by one of my teammates on my softball team, which is aptly named: Four of Us Had Lyme Disease.

In fact our jersey has a tick in the O...

Just wanted to let Sen. Schumer know that he is absolutely welcome to throw out the first pitch at any of our upcoming games (or play a few innings, if he’d like).   The great thing about the acronym is that it scales...  allowing for “FIVE of us...”

Here's our schedule, Senator...

5/30    Wed    8:45pm    Col. Charles Young #3
6/5    Tues    7:45pm    Asphalt Green #2
6/17    Sun    6:30pm    CP North Medow #2
6/20    Wed    7:15pm    Riverside 107th #6
6/26    Tues    7:45pm    Asphalt Green #1
7/11    Wed    6:15pm    Col. Charles Young #3
7/18    Wed    6:45pm    Riverside Park #8*
7/26    Thurs    5:45pm    Roosevelt Island

And yes, I was one of the four.

Sah-weet.  I'll be there to see what Willie has to say.  Hey Willie, I'm faculty... get me some tix. 

The Mets are in first and the Yanks are in last.

Really, would you have it any other way?

The Yanks have already had nine different pitchers start games, including Darrel Rasner, Jeff Karstans, and Chase Wright.

haha

(Sorry.)

You know what the best part of this is?  The Yankee MVP and frankly, the MVP of the whole baseball universe was A-Rod.  He's batting .355 with 14HR and 35 RBI after 23 games.   In 1968, I think that might have qualified for the Triple Crown. 

Everyone makes such a big deal about Captain Derek Jeter, but for my money, A-Rod is the best shortstop on the team.  Captain Derek wouldn't come to A-Rod's side last year when Rodriguez was struggling and he added to preseason controversy by saying a chilly "We get along on the field" or some garbage like that.  Derek, I think it's time for you to embrace the guy who is carrying your patchwork overpaid team on his shoulders.

Jeez...  How's that Kris Benson trade looking now?  John Maine is 4-0 with a 1.35ERA.   In fact, the Mets have a team ERA of 2.74.

No Bradford?  No problem.  Submariner Joe Smith hasn't given up a run yet.

Ya gotta believe... in April.

Who said our pitching has issues...  USS Maine 1-hit the Cards through 7 strong...   Bye bye Birds!

Its great when you can score 6 runs without hitting the ball hard more than once all night.

A few thoughts:

Glavine should win at least 15 games this year....     He looked real sharp, especially with the change.

Moises Alou looked pretty good.. hustling around the basepaths, taking an extra on an aggressive play. 

Kind of ballsy to bring out Joe Smith in the 8th there.  Talk about trial by fire for the sidearming rookie.   Did Willie think that was Chad Bradford?   That should have been Heilman's spot all the way. 

I'm concerned about David Wright.  He had a weak 2nd half last year and he grounds the ball around the infield a lot, instead of driving the ball.  I'm afraid we're going to see him at .210 after April, but I hope I'm wrong.

First round of the A-10 Tourney...    Dunston has 21, Stout 17.  Go Rams.

Here's the deal.   13 Team League.  260 Fake dollars to spend.  10 Categories...  AVG, HR, R, RBI, SB, W, K, ERA, WHIP, S.   Top team in a category gets 13 pts, bottom gets 1.   Total points, not head to head.

I can protect 3-5 players at 5 dollars more than last year's salary.  Last year, the highest paid player went for 42 I believe.

Here's who I could protect at what prices:

Juan Pierre 26
Chone Figgins 16
Joe Crede 6
Michael Cuddyer  6
Anibel Sanchez  6
David Wright 34
Adrian Gonzalez 6
Bobby Jenks 12
Curt Shilling 19

What do you think?  Which 5 do I protect?

My ZogSports Football Team, "Ludacris Speed" is having its first practice today at 2:30 on 52nd/11th.  Wooooo.

When the Mets were in the playoffs last year, I couldn't get a video stream of the game on the web, even though I had paid for MLB Extra Innings.  Why?  Because I was actually in New York, so the game was blacked out locally.  Well, without a TV at my desk, I literally had no access to some of the daytime games.  It had nothing to do with whether I was willing to pay...  I was just shut out cold.

Now, the NFL wants to feature similar TV packages exclusively on DirectTV.  I don't have DirectTV.  Therefore, this sucks.

Argue away about business models and pricing...   about whether content should be free, paid for, freemium, ad supported or what have you... and that's fine...  but the following is UTF (utterly... ridiculous).

It is 2007 and there is digital content that I as a cable subscriber and broadband internet user  still cannot access, even though I am willing to pay for it.

When is this going to end?  It's one thing to say that the stuff is mispriced, but access?  Access should not be an issue.  If I want to watch any baseball game, I should be able to... on my TV or on the web, regardless of who I pay for my big fat dumb data pipe, which seems to be getting dumber by the minute.

All content on demand for anyone, period.  If I have to pay, I'll pay, but at least give me the opportunity.

Anyone want to venture some guesses as to when this happens?

...or the ads just royally sucked.

But Fred and I are in agreement....  the Doritos one was the hands down winner... and of course, it wasn't created by an ad agency...  it was a make your own ad contest winner.

Users 1.  Ad agencies 0.

I'd be curious to hear from agency folks on this one...  did they really think any of these were any good? 

Here are some random thoughts on the bunch...

Of course I was eyeing the Careerbuilder ones, and, well, they were sort of amusing, but really kind of heady, I think, for Joe Six Pack.  I mean, if you don't work in a cubicle, did you really relate to that commercial at all?  So it was like Office Survivor... I guess?

And what about those Toyota commercials.  So let's get this straight.  We go out to a canyon and contruct a huge and overelaborate track that just ends hanging over a cliff.  Then, we construct two huge metal doors halfway down the track... and see if this dude in a pickup truck can accellerate fast enough to make it through the closing doors, then brake hard enough not to go over the cliff.  If he fails on either part of the course, he'll die.

Are these people Bond villians, or what?

What else was there?  I vaguely remember some floating car parts.  Of course, there was GoDaddy...  was it me or was the GoDaddy chic not as hot as usual on that one?  I think that gag is getting a little tiresome.

The worst of the bunch?  Anything with a song was root canal painful...  the Garmin one, the Chevy song, Sheryl Crowe.   

I will hand it to K-Fed, though...   took a lot to totally make fun of himself like that. 

Hmm...   Jeez... I don't even remember half of them...    Some lame animal ones...  Gorillas, lions...   

I watched the game in Brooklyn with about a dozen people and we were all in agreement... worst superbowl for commercials ever.  Maybe the remakes on YouTube will be better.  Wait... I'm confused... YouTube has me voting for existing Superbowl commericals... weren't they having fans make their own versions or something?

It was a sloppy game and the commercials were pretty much the worst of all time, except for the fan created Doritos one in the beginning...   but at least one good thing came out of this year's Superbowl: 

$550 in charity donations in the Charity Superbowl Wiki.

At the end of the first quarter, it seemed like we might have an upset in the making.  The first play of the game resulted in a Bears TD and Peyton was the first QB to throw a pick.   Six turnovers later, the Bears were up 14-6, making sexy commedianne blogger Heather Fink our first quarter winner.  That will send a $55 check over to RAINN.

Of course, the Bears hold on the game, and the football, didn't last, and the Colts came back with 10 unanswered second quarter points, taking a 16-14 lead into the half...   which...   wait a second...   makes Heather a winner AGAIN.   Tack on another $137.50 unto the check for RAINN, bringing her halftime total up to $192.50.

The third quarter was all about kicking...   and three fieldgoals later, the Colts extended their lead ever so slightly with two of their own to one from the Bears, making the third quarter score 22-17.  Score the third quarter for Matt McLaughlin of Thermodepot's sponsorship of the American Cancer Society.  They'll get a check for $82.50 on Matt's behalf.

Still, the Bears were in the game...  until Grossman tossed up a duck and the Colts returned it in the fourth, putting the game out of reach, and giving us a 29-17 final, eh...   I add the "eh" because our final score winner is Ken King and he has selected the Canadian Diabetes Association as his sponsored charity.  They'll receive 50% of our pool total: $275 American.  I wonder if Ken is as successful in his Grey Cup boxes.

Thanks to everyone who played our Charity Superbowl Wiki... see you next year!

Checks will go out tomorrow.

Thanks