Or something like that...

On October 14, 2004, I sat in DTUT working on my Stanford MBA application, trying to figure out where all this was going....   

"In the last day or so, I've found clarity of vision. ...Its the best and biggest thing I have the potential to do right now, and I shouldn't be shooting for anything less than that. I don't want to look back on my life over the next few years and think I left anything on the table. Let's see how far this can go. I want to let it ride.

This is going to be big.  I can feel it."

That's how my blog got named, and we've come a long way since my eventual rejection from Stanford.  :)  On July 17th, after seventeen of the most eye-opening months of my professional life, I will be leaving Union Square Ventures to join Oddcast in the newly created position of Director of Consumer Products.

I imagine, given my obsession with my avatar, that hardly comes as a surprise to most of you... but here's the extended version.

My time here at Union Square Ventures has been nothing short of amazing.  In less than two years, I went from being an investment analyst at a pension fund to helping a venture-backed digital media company with their burgeoning consumer effort.  That would not have been possible had it not been for the opportunity that everyone here at USV afforded me...   from the front row seat that Brad and Fred made sure I had for all of our meetings, investment discussions, and interaction with entrepreneurs, to Kerri's patience for having to sit next to me day in and day out in "reception".

Brad and Fred have been great mentors.  I knew this was going to be a great fund when I evaluated them for GM back in 2004, but I really didn't understand how far ahead of the pack they were until after I got here.  Right around the time that I got here was when they were talking to Joshua from del.icio.us...   I totally didn't get it.  Bookmarks?  Tagging?  Not many VCs would have understood it at such an early stage either.  I got it soon enough, though.  These guys were ahead of the curve by a year and I definitely benefited from the insight the market gave them credit for.  Union Square Ventures developed a great brand in a short period of time, and that granted me access to a deep and knowledgeable network of people. 

Think of working at USV like MBA 2.0.  Lots of networking.  Lots of "case studies".  We met a ton of companies and in each and every single one of those meetings, there was something to be learned... some new way of thinking...  or an inspiration for a thought experiment of our own.  It was the most educational birds eye view of Everything 2.0 that I could have had....  and so to all of the entrepreneurs I was lucky enough to meet with while I was here, thank you for your time, your passion, and your attempts to reshape and improve the world.

The only difficult thing was that, when you're an analyst, you don't really live and die by your own sword.  You contribute to decisions, but it is difficult to have direct impact on your company.  Plus, any company that interacts with us here can tell you that we're a passionate group of users that love to play product manager with a whiteboard once in a while to generate ideas.  Sometimes, in that process, you meet a company whose product and its potential you can't shake out of your head--one where you feel like you have some unique insight or talent that could be the missing piece of a great puzzle.  When we met with Adi, Oren, and Gil from Oddcast, I felt that from the start.  I wrote about why we were excited about Oddcast as an investment on the USV blog.  But here, on my blog, I'll tell you why I am personally excited about this opportunity...  as a company and just in terms of my own personal opportunity.

If there's anything that we've learned over the past two years or so on the web, is that if you give people a fun and flexible way to express themselves and connect to other people, great things happen.  The most interesting new voice in media is us, and we are a growing part of our own digital experience.  In Oddcast, I see a company with a platform that enables self expression in a unique way and one that has some key components--mobile and voice--that have the potential to create an exponential amount of social interaction and value to the end user. 

This is going to be a fun challenge and a tremendous opportunity for me.  I get to work together with a great team to figure out how users want to express themselves digitally and what those expressions will look like.  The Oddcast platform is a great base to build on and it is going to enable what is potentially a very creative and unique business model--one that I'm confident brands and advertisers are going to be very interested in.

So all I can say is stay tuned, because I'm jumping in the game here, coming a big step closer to fulfilling the nomenclature of this blog...

My best friend Brian and I have birthdays a month apart, and so instead of buying each other equally priced gifts and exchanging them, which to me seemed silly, we've gotten into the habit of hitting up top tier NYC steakhouses.   We've done it for promotions as well, and so steak has become celebratory food for us.

Here's where we've been so far:

1. Del Frisco's  - Best seasoning...  friendly waitresses
2. Ben Benson's   - Redefined our notion of what a crabcake could be... best appetizers.
3. The Strip House - Very dark...  great food, though... if you date a steak girl, this is the place
4. Old Homestead  - Unbelieveable cut of meat... melted in our mouths like butter
5. Wolfgang's - Solid all around
6. Angelo and Maxie's  - I have a special place in my heart for their Teriyaki steak

Seperately, at least one of us has also been to the following places:

1. Peter Lugar's - Steak for steak people
2. Ruth's Chris - Excellent service
3. Morton's - Overrated (me)
4. Smith and Wollensky's - Overrated (according to Brian)
5. Sparks - Sorely disappointed when I went there...
6. Gallagher's - Good food but the place is sort of a dump

So we're going out tomorrow for Brian's birthday and we need to cross another off the list.  Anyone have any suggestions?

Kaz Matsui gets traded to the Arena Baseball League... umm... I mean the Rockies, along with 4.5 million Pepsi points.

The Mets take four from the D'Backs as the Yanks lose four to the A's.

My fastpitch softball team mercies the other team twice, winning their seventh game in a row.

I got to hangout at the boathouse all day Saturday and yesterday afternoon.

And a bunch of my friends showed up to hangout at the rooftop of Bar 13 on Friday.

Not to mention getting to hangout with my favorite blogger through most of it.

Ahh... yes, it was a good weekend...

Fuckin' bike flat...    maybe I'll walk home to Bay Ridge today.

Link: ABC News: Police Investigate New York Subway Terror Threat.

The New York City Police Department is investigating what it deems a credible tip that 19 operatives have been deployed to New York to place bombs in the subway, and security in the subways will be increased, sources told ABC News.

There is a parking spot in Manhattan that is governed by no traffic rules whatsover.  None.

No alternate side parking.  No muni-meters.  No commercial parking only.  No street cleaning, no no standing, no no nothing. 

And yet, no one parks there... ever.

Its a completely free, completely empty spot on one of the most traversed roads in the whole city--the most valuable secret in all of NYC.

I know, because I have seen it with my own eyes.  I have even parked there.  Before yesterday, it was just for a few hours at off times here and there. 

Now, it has passed the ultimate test.   I had a breakfast meeting in midtown at 7:30, so I drove in and parked around 7.  It was a 10-12 minute walk to where I was.  I went to work, met someone for dinner, then went to teach my class at 8.

I didn't get back to my secret spot until 10PM.

Car?

Still there.  No tickets.

Fifteen hours of undisturbed, unticketed, completely free parking, 10 minutes from midtown.

I kid you not, my friends.  There is a spot the Department of Transportation has forgotten... has overlooked.  It is 20 feet from a hydrant and down the block from a no parking anytime zone....  but this spot is completely free of any legal jurisdiction whatsoever. 

I dare not park their everyday, for fear of giving away its very existance to the proper authorities, but I will definitely use it at my leisure for late nights in the city where I know I won't want to hike home on the subway at 11 or 12. 

Forget great sushi.  Forget great apartment finds.  Forget midnight hookups on C/L. 

I have found the Holy Grail of living in New York City.   Parking.  Free.  Anytime.  No limits.

I'm not going to post about last night without explaining why there were 30 of my friends at Bar 515 celebrating.  While I can't say yet where I'm going (not until Monday anyway), the big news is that Friday, February 11, 2005 will be my last day at General Motors Asset Management.  After a little over eight years, I will be moving on for a really fantastic opportunity.  It has been a great experience, which I will write lots about when I make my official announcement on Monday.  For now, I'll just be concentrating on the party last night. 

I think Tim really captured the significance of the occasion when he asked, "What else have you done in your life for eight years so far?  Nothing."  He was totally right.  GM had been the longest continuous association/presense I've ever had.  Talk about an era.  Anyway...  more on Monday.  On to the party.

First of all, the turnout was amazing.  I really didn't expect so many people to show.  One of Dorean's friends said to me, "Wow, you have a lot of friends."   I guess I do.  I just don't like losing touch with people, especially when I've met quality people.  My life, in spite of the fact that it hasn't taken me too far geographically, has taken me through a lot of different groups of people and so I've met a lot of people that I would like to keep around.  Last night, people from so many different parts of my life were represented.  It was a little overwhelming to see them all there at once, and to feel like you're responsible for them having a good time.  I suppose that's what the alcohol is there for... its like a babysitter.  "Mr. Beer, could you watch Brian for a little while while I go greet some guests?"  Anyway, there were people from home, from Genesis, Regis/Marymount days, Fordham, GM, kayaking, baseball.  I thought it would be interesting to plot the entrance of selected people into my life on a timeline. 

No, I'm serious, I actually did it:

It will be interesting to see how that plays out over time.  Maybe I'll do another one for my grad school going away party.  :)

Anyway, I know you're all dying to see the pictures.  To be honest, I didn't get as many people as I would have liked to.  I was pretty busy hanging out with everyone, but I did get a few.  Perhaps I should have deputized some people at the bar with the Powershot.  That always seems to get the volume up and the quality down.

I'm not going out to Fire Island or the Hamptons.

No Jersey Shore either.

Nope....  I'm not making any plans, b/c I need a weekend off...  not a vacation.. but a weekend around NYC...   a few hours in my apartment wouldn't be bad either.  I could finally get my ceiling fans, hook up my TV to my media center (nope, still haven't done that either.)  Maybe I'll make a pizza, too.

I'll definately be spending a disproportionate amount of time at Pier 96 at the boathouse, too.  I'm set on being there Sunday and Monday, since the weather is going to be good.  Saturday might be my day in Brooklyn, especially if it rains.

I'm not big into vacations, but catch-up time is always welcome.

In everything I do, I try to surround myself with hardworking, positive people who will go the extra mile--and do so in a way that really makes things a good experience for everyone around them.  That's important to me as I tend to feed off the energy of others.  That's why, when I think about travelling, my first question is always about who I'm going with, because the people I go with are going to make or break the trip for me, regardless of who I'm going with.

That goes for sports, too... especially at this age.  I'm 26 and I'm not going to make the major leagues...   at least it seems highly unlikely.  I play softball to have fun.  I hustle and try to win of course, but I'm not going to lose sleep if I don't, because I've got other things in my life.

So, today, I did something I've never done before.  I walked off the field in the middle of a game.  I play in a men's fastpitch league in Brooklyn and we're not doing well.  Last week we didn't field... this week we weren't hitting.   I show up.  I hustle.  I play and bat where I'm told. 

So, in our first inning of the second game, I missed two fly balls, which I really never do.  The first one, I got distracted because the first baseman ran out to me and, even though I called it, I wasn't sure if we were going to run into each other.  I looked down at him for a split second and it was just the wrong split second to look down. 

The inning wasn't really going well for anyone in the outfield.  Before that, the centerfielder showboated one with one hand, tried to do one of these Barry Bonds catch off to the side of the head things... and it bounced right off his glove.  At least I wasn't showboating.

The second play, I realy didn't think it was going to me, so I hesitated, but I still had it tracked down.  I ran over to catch it... and it just didn't happen... bounced off my glove.  Bad play.. it happens.   Smacked my glove and just resided to get it next time.  That's all I can do.  Get it next time.

Then all of the sudden, the kid who manages the team called to me to come out...  he was going to replace me in the field right in the middle of the inning.  I really couldn't believe what I was hearing until I saw this guy come off the bench with his glove.  I was totally stunned.  I mean, you take people out for not hustling, for arguing, but dropping the ball?  We're not major leaguers...   especially not our team.  Stunned.

So I ran off, letting the manager, a guy my age, know that this just wasn't right.  And, without hesitation, I grabbed my bag, said, "See you later" and walked off.  I didn't throw anything.  I didn't get angry... I just walked off.  You just don't make an example of someone who is trying their best...  it doesn't really solve anything, and its absolutely not the kind of team I have any interest in playing for.  I love baseball and I'd play everyday if I could, but not with people who take the fun out of it, because then what am I really playing for?

What would have been the best thing to do?  I dunno...  maybe let my bat do the talking and get my hits while I was the DH and not worry about what happened in the field.  But, sometimes, you just have to take yourself out of a situation where you're not being treated right if you don't have something worthwhile to sacrifice for.  My Zog team plays for charity... the Fordham team carries the name of  an institution I believe in and I'm proud to be associated with.  This team, if its going to play favorites, point fingers and make examples of people when its 3-6, stands for nothing.

I hate shopping.

I hate the whole process...  being sold to, crowded stores... buying stuff that other people don't need just because its the day they were born.  I wind up spending money, as most guys do, not actually buying gifts.  (As in...   You're a $30 birthday friend...  You're a $50 date vs. a $100 date.) 

Its all very...   manufactured.  John Cusack captured the feeling best:

“I don't wanna sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't wanna sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed, you know, as a career, I don't wanna do that...right now I just wanna be with your daughter, sir.”

But today, I just received a product that I bought last week that made me feel different about it, from Etsy.  Etsy is a marketplace for all things not mass produced... but as I learned, its a marketplace for people, because you don't just get the item, you get a personal story.  It has a community look and feel...  when you go on the site, you feel like you're at a fair.  Its made just for this kind of stuff... not a one size fits all site where you could sell a lamp, your '82 Chevelle, or women's surplus army pants all in the same place. 

First off, it came from Singapore.  And it didn't come from some big factory where hundreds of 11 year old kids are running big machines or doing this all day by hand until they bleed.  It came directly from Chu Ling, a mom with a 16 month old daughter who isn't feeling well at the moment.  She runs a shop on Etsy and comes from a very poor family.  She handwrote the envelope... somewhere in Singapore... last week.  Something about that is just really fantastic for me...   a lot more interesting than just getting a book from someone from Barnes & Noble.  In fact, I think I want to keep the envelope and give it as part of the gift.

I bought a purple glass pendant.  As soon as Chu received my PayPal payment, she wrote me by e-mail to tell me she'd mail it the next day.  When she did, she e-mailed me again to tell me the tracking number, which, to be honest, I didn't even use.  She had like 500+ positive buyer experiences to her credit against 0 negative ones and not even a single neutral ones. 

I'm very happy with my purchase, too.  So no more manbuying for me...  where I'm just a wallet making a monetary judgement of a friendship.  These things are special an now I feel like I can get special stuff for the people I care about most. 

The web is so fuckin' cool.

So I'm realizing that my commute is like 11 minutes too long and my neighborhood is one detached $2 million house too residential.

Its kind of funny, actually, because the first five months that I was living here, I was dating someone in Park Slope, which artificially split my commute in half.  It was rare that I was making the full trip at one time.  Now, admittedly, its kind of annoying.

Plus, I've had a lot of friends start to move into Fort Greene.  That got topped off when we went to see a company right in that neighborhood last week that had an awesome walkup space. 

I really dread the thought of moving again.

Well, first I need to figure out what I'm doing next year so I can size up my bite size.... so I'm probably not going anywhere in 2006.   

But it doesn't seem like this Bay Ridge thing is going to last.

I have this bizzare little habit everytime I fly on a plane.

I e-mail myself a simple last will and testament.

Then I e-mail my friend Brian the password to my e-mail, in case the plane goes down.

I'm not even afraid of flying or anything...   but while the plane is boarding, I tend to get board and my mind starts wandering.  I figure for the minute that it takes, I might as well have my stuff in order.

There is one thing that I've been putting in it, though, that I can make public here, though.  Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, but while I have your attention, I think I'd like to make one request public.

I don't want a wake and I want to be cremated.  I really hate the idea of "embalming" and the being put up for display for a couple of days, then being dropped in a box in the ground left to decay.  I mean, come on, does that sound appealing to you?   Nope...  as soon as I go, harvest me for whatever organs people need, and then toast me.  Spread the ashes places I cared about, like the Boathouse or Fordham or something like that. 

Sorry if that was morbid, but that's life.  Now you all know what to do with me should I overdose on Jamba Juice.

Live from the N train over the Manhattan Bridge, originally uploaded by ceonyc.

....its a cement truck full of Wonder Bread!



Haha



You might not find this funny, but I as highly amused.

This kid was at the Hammerstein Ballroom last night...  talk about quality time with Dad!  More videos here, especially now that Phanfare has MP4 support!

Technology can be a very powerful thing.  A computer and an internet connection can give you the tools to create very positive change in the world around you...   right at your fingertips.

Or, in my case, they can be weapons of self destruction.

I have two traits that, when combined with the ease of publication and distribution afforded me by blogging and e-mail, have come back to bite me time and time again.  One day, I think I'll learn.

First is that I'm very "principled".  When stuff bothers me, I always say something about it and make an issue of it.  I think, more than anything else, its because I never think that the people around me make enough of an issue with things.  Sometimes, I've spoken out for people and defended them, or defended issues I believe in...and its a good thing.  Too often, I find myself wandering too far ahead of the crowd and putting myself out there alone without backup or a leg to stand on.

Second, my tone is... well... call it what you will...  abrasive, snarky, threatening...  I mean, it never seems that way to me, but it certainly comes off that way to others.  Sometimes, I'll read an e-mail twice, think its fine, and then wind up totally pissing someone off...  and somehow still not know why.  I've never really concerned myself with style.  Style is style, but content is what really matters to me, so I've never really had trouble dealing with difficult people.  I had a finance teacher that would routinely say obnoxious things, but at the end of the day, he was the best teacher I've ever had, hands down... and that's all I cared about.  However, not everyone works that way and I need to do a much better job of realizing that.

So today's lesson comes when I was supposed to play with a team of people in a big dodgeball tournament with a lot of tech firms tomorrow afternoon.  There was an entry fee, which is fine, but then I balked that non-members of this venue would have to pay $25 each for a "day pass" to use the "facilities" even though we were already paying to rent the space.  So, I went around the organizer, straight to the venue and e-mailed them.  I basically said, "Hey, we're not even going to use the other facilities, and you know what, you guys are getting a lot of publicity out of this because its going to be full of bloggers... so how about some free passes."

Well, that was the jist of what I was trying to say anyway.  I think the part about how my blog gets more traffic than the venue's website was probably overkill... definately.

The result?

The venue passed it back to the organizer, who then decided that, probably rightfully so, that I was more trouble than my participation was worth, and poof, we're out on our butts.   Booted from the tourney!

We were so excited... I had  a whole team together that was all pumped to play... I've been talking about it for days...   and now nobody on my team can play because of my own stupidity.

Sucks.

I suck.

Its amazing that any of you still read what I write...   

Today's weather in NYC: 

So I've been e-mailing with a Jesuit scholastic (someone who is studying to become a priest) about some family values issues and I wanted to blog my response to something he said about beliefs and how I arrive at them:

"Going to be tough to chat via phone...    have a very busy schedule over the next few days.  Plus, admittedly, I'm a writer.  I kind of hate the phone and do my best thinging when I can sit, go back to something, think about it...  I find the phone to be unecessarily syncronous when my brain doesn't work that way.

Plus, this is the way the Paul did it, right?  :)   He would have made a great blogger.

I'm sure we'll run into different definitions of the word faith, but here's one from the Catholic Encyclopedia that seems that you would go on that I have a lot of trouble with.

"...faith must necessarily result in a body of dogmatic beliefs....Objectively, it stands for the sum of truths revealed by God in Scripture and tradition and which the Church presents to us in a brief form in her creeds..."

"That such Divine faith is necessary, follows from the fact of Divine revelation. For revelation means that the Supreme Truth has spoken to man and revealed to him truths which are not in themselves evident to the human mind. We must, then, either reject revelation altogether, or accept it by faith; that is, we must submit our intellect to truths which we cannot understand, but which come to us on Divine authority."

The problem I have, where this breaks down for me and where it breaks down for a lot of Catholics, or people in general, is that once you get to the point where religion needs to be explained to you by someone with a lot more schooling that you, you don't trust it... because you know that no one is infallable and we are all subject to our own biases.  Religion has been used to exploit people, as an excuse to start wars (not talking about today), and as an instrument of fear.  (You should see V for Vendetta, btw...)  Individual faith doesn't have those negative charactoristics, or at least not to the same extent.  If I base my faith on what I believe in my heart and my innate sense of right and wrong, while it is no doubt subject to my own biases, I also don't get the sense that I am using religion to justify an end.  Whereas, when you have Divine Revelation explained to you by others that seems to contradict what's in your heart, people get a little suspicious.

So, you could tell me that there is Divine revelation that dictates what family means, but I say that, to me, family is love and support and I see the best kind of love and support in a multitude of different arrangements and architectures.  I believe that...   it is my own personal faith that it is acceptable to God.  Scholars and experts could point out otherwise, but then again, some Church scholars thought the world was flat at one point, too, and that notions of a round world were contrary to scripture.  Such is the result when imperfect people try and interpret the Divine."

First off, there are four new all-fruit flavors at Jamba.  I had the grape one...  it was grapetacular.  Even better was that *finally* they have a loyalty card program...  so I only need three more all-fruit smoothies to get the next one free.

But the most important thing is that my favorite Jamba employee Carmen is back at the Jamba Juice on 5th and 22nd.  I think she's probably everyone's favorite, because when I started talking to her, some lady on line said, "See, everybody missed you!"

Why was she gone?

She had a baby!  Congrats Carmen!

I thought it was a little fishy that there was a news helicopter hovering above my subway stop this morning.

Turns out that some lady was late for her train and tried to pull up right up to the train by parking on the platform...underground. 

They just don't make city streets like they used to, eh?

Its slightly unsettling to me that, no matter how big that watermain is or how long it was spewing water into the subway station, that all it takes is a little H2O to make the whole damn street collapse.

What happens when it rains hard?  Should I not be driving the 'Stang on 4th avenue?