I wish I knew who all these people were.

I wish I knew whether the girl standing in front of me reading Marie Claire with the trail of stars tattooed on her ankle was with anyone when she got it.

What about the tall geeky couple to my right? Are they actually a couple? Where did they meet?

The guy with the Handsome Boy Clothing Co tshirt...is that a bible pamphlet he's holding? Where'd he get it? Does he have one for each day?

The woman conked out with her mouth open... Does she fall asleep everyday? Did she go out late last night? Maybe yesterday was her birthday.

Lots of tats around... All are little stories.

How about nametags with links to our web profiles?

I'm sorry, but even besides obvious reasons I just find women so much more interesting to look at. I find guys to be pretty boring.

Ruoska sings Narua in my ear, in Finnish. No silver bullet for mortgages, UK warned says the peach flavored Financial Times. I can see my feet. The FT has spit out an insert. A guy in a Decepticons tshirt swoops in quickly to pick it up. His hipster bag says Black Paw.

Everything just came up Charlie today.

I had a great call with a smart investor who turns out to know one of my angels through the BYU alumni network.

I used by super amazing powers of interweb stalking to track down a Fordham grad who is an investor at a private equity firm--through his son who turns out to have had my old job at GM.  Only put two and two together because of autocomplete on Thunderbird--it matched the last names.

I got the most amazing e-mail from a new old friend--someone I'd gone years without seeing and have recently reconnected with.

My Fordham softball team won and made the playoffs in a do or pretty much die situation in the last game of the season.  I drove in three and had an outfield assist as we won 9-7.

I spoke at Ignite and apparently did pretty well...  

Funny, because when I was speaking, I noticed that the crowd actually seemed to be listening.  I thought maybe everyone had left, but the attention was confirmed by Eric and Adam.

And then I biked home and it was a beautiful night.   Everything's coming up Charlie!

There are certainly a lot of places out on the web where you can take a personality test, but for the more serious ones (not the Superhero test), comparing results to others isn't always easy.

That's going to be our next update to the test... the ability to compare your results with other people.

For now, though, people have been sending me screenshots of their Path 101 personality test results and asking me what I got on mine, so I figured I'd share:

Interesting that I'm empathetic, but kind of emotionless.  "I understand your problems, but I just don't care about them."  :)

What did you get on your test?

Haven't taken it yet?  What are you waiting for?  A Beta?  :)

When I have a softball game in the city, and we're the home team, it is our (my) responsibility to bring the bases. I can't bike into the city with the bases on my bike because there's nowhere to put this unwieldy base bag. So, I usually bring the car in and put it in a garage. Sixteen bucks and wasted gas all to get a bag of bases to a softball game.

This morning, I gassed up, but had second thoughts because of the price of gas. I turned around and tooked the silly bag out of my trunk and lugged it to the subway. It's not heavy... just sort of awkward.

What I really need to do is to get a little luggage thing for the side or back of my bike. Then, I'd never have to bring the car in and I could maybe bring my favorite bat in as well.

I like the fact that I've been avoiding using the car lately. I'm going down to Philly on Thursday and might try to grab the train there, too.

Does anyone have any recommendations for good quality racks for carrying things on their bikes?

I went to the supermarket late this afternoon.  I thought about relationships...  and cheese.

The single Charlie has three types of cheese in the house: Extra sharp cheddar, pepper jack, and grated peccorino romano. 

I didn't have anyone to suggest any other types of cheese in the supermarket.  No one else was going to eat cheese in my apartment but me.... so I got the types I normally get.

In college, I went with someone I was dating to the Dominican Republic.  The resort we stayed in had an all you can eat place--and one whole table dedicated to cheese.  We started off our meals with whole platefuls of cheese.  It was a special bond. 

I would like someone else around to affect my cheese decisions--to spice things up a bit.  An ex used to bring baby bel paise into the house.  It was so conspicuous in my fridge--obviously not mine but a nice reminder of the presence of someone else around. 

Right now, I have 2653 RSS subscribers and 890 Twitter followers.

Assuming not every one of my Twitter followers follow my blog via RSS, I'm going to say that puts Twitter penetration in my blog audience at about 25%. 

If you're not on it, check it out, particularly if you just don't get it.

What's the point of it?  It's a short form conversation that's going on between blog posts.  Think if it this way:  It's the "hallway track" at a conference--when the best conversations are the ones had spontaneously over on the side, away from the main exhibit room.

So before you think about whether you want to publish when you brush your teeth to the world, think about it from the listening perspective.  You spend the time to read my blog, where the posts are often entirely too long--why not find out about what I'm thinking and who I'm talking to when I'm not blogging?

It's time to listen in on the hallway track.  I'm here on Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/ceonyc

Last week, when I posted my "Top 10 Reasons to Date an Entrepreneur" I got a response from someone who was actually interested in going on a date.

It's funny, because that wasn't the intended purpose of the post--it came out of a conversation I was having with someone about entrepreneurs and what working on a startup does to your personal life.  Then I realized, that in my 4+ years of blogging, that was the ONLY time I've ever been approached that way.  2,246 posts and, before that, not a single person has stepped forward and said, "Hey, you seem like the kinda guy I'd want to go out with."

Now, I suppose for half of that time, I've been seeing someone, but I don't think that's always been apparent.  Still, what about the other half??  Perhaps there's the fear of the spotlight--as if I blog all my dates here, which I obviously don't. 

The one thing I think I can say is that, while there's a lot of content here on this blog, it really does only present just a side of me.  I think a lot of blogs are like that--where the professional person comes off in such a way that might be different from the person you'd get to know if you knew them personally.   So, I thought it would be interesting to start a meme encouraging other bloggers to share a little something about who they are and what they want when it comes to their dating/relationship life.

So here are the rules:

Write 5 things about either a) what you value in a counterpart or b) what someone needs to know about your dating/relationship personality.

Then, link to 5 people of the OPPOSITE SEX that you want to see answer these questions (to ensure that it doesn't just look like a bunch of dudes trying to get a date.)  If you're already in a relationship, you can still answer of course.  This is more about getting to know a different side of you, or just getting to know you better.

Ok, here's mine:

1. Despite my strongly held opinions and outspoken nature, I'm actually quite openminded and really desire that in someone else.  I like new ideas and perspectives, and it is exactly this desire for feedback, pushback, etc. that helps me form such strong opinions--because I do feel like I do what I can to be surrounded by tire-kickers.
2. I'm much more of a 1 on 1 person than I am about big groups.  I'd rather get to know one person pretty deeply than meet 30 people and just get names and what they do for a living.
3. I want to meet someone who is passionate about something--anything.  It doesn't have to be their career (although if you're going to spend 8-12 hours a day at something, that might as well be it), but I just can't relate to people who can't get really really psyched about at least one thing in their lives.
4. I need someone with a calendar--someone who understands how to stick to some kind of schedule.  That's really different than someone who needs a routine.  Being spontaneous is fantastic, but I also can't deal with last minute cancelations or leaving things too up in the air.  I don't see my friends enough.  I don't see my family enough.  So, if you can't tell me whether or not you're free Saturday afternoon at least a few days in advance, don't expect me to cut out possible family time to leave it open for whenever you figure out where the wind will take you that day.
5. I take care of myself and find it difficult to date anyone who doesn't respect their own body.  I don't think I could date a smoker, and while you don't have to be a gym rat, getting some kind of exercise at least a couple of times a week shows that you care about yourself and your body--that you think enough of it to keep it up.   I do, however, love desert, so ice cream is a big exception to this--Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia... rrrrrggggg.

Ok, I'll tag Shri (even though she's married) , Rachel, Tik, Tara, and Whitney (although you can learn a lot about her here).   Funny, there were a couple of other women that I wanted to tag, but I knew they'd never repost this, because their blogs are solely professional.  I think that's very telling, because a lot of women don't even want to open that door at all and let all the crazies in.  :)

No news yet...  Arnold the car guy asked me to come down and reorder my company vehicle, which is due for an update.  I'm avoiding him for the moment.

I'm often at a loss to figure out plans for hanging out. It's not like I don't have interests--I have a ton. It's that finding the right people to hangout with make up 99% of what makes an activity fun for me. The right people, to me, make or break an event.

Therefore, I don't tend to have thoughts like, "I really want to pick up and travel somewhere" or "I reallt want to go dancing." That being said, I'll show up to just about anything, given the right crowd--dodgeball, semi-pro pillow fights, the Philharmonic, a jazz club or a philosophy talk. I'm kind of like that with Church. The community has always been more important to me than the building, so when I was on campus at Fordham, I went weekly, but now I don't really go because I'm not as connected to my local Brooklyn parish. I simply don't hangout there much and most of my friends live in the city.

So, should you ever hangout with me, while I'll always be up for doing something interesting, it doesn't much matter as long as the company is good. One of my favorite nights ever was when I hungout with a friend at the fountains of Columbus Circle. We met there, and didn't move...talked for hours, and that was it--highly entertaining for me.

Your coat and hat are gone
I really can't look at your little empty shelf
A ragged teddy bear
It feels like we never had a chance
Don't look me in the eye

We lay in each others arms
But the room is just an empty space
I guess we lived it out
Something in the air
We smiled too fast
then can't think of a thing to say

Lived with the best times
Left with the worst
I've danced with you too long
Nothing left to say

Let's take what we can
I know you hold your head up high
We've raced for the last time
A place of no return

And there's something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long
Something in the air
Something in my eye

Abracadoo - I lose you
We can't avoid the clash
The big mistake
Now we're gonna pay and pay
The sentence of our lives
Can't believe I'm asking you to go

We used what we could
To get the things we want
But we lost each other on the way
I guess you know I never wanted
anyone more than you

Lived all our best times
Left with the worst
I've danced with you to long
Say what you will

But there's something in the air
Raced for the last time
Well I know you hold your head up high
There's nothing we have to say
There's nothing in my eyes
But there's something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long
There's something I have to say
There's something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long

I'm headed out to the ERE Expo in San Diego--I got a very exciting invitation to be a part of their startup panel along with Benjamin Yoskovitz (Standout Jobs), Clint Heiden (VisualCV), and Dan Arkind (JobScore).  What's so cool about our panel is that we all represent different aspects of the job process...

You will be able to discover a career on Path 101, present yourself well with a Visual CV, engage with a company and apply through Standout Jobs and then hopefully make your way through the company's recruiting process, which might be managed by JobScore.  Nice!

Since I was out there anyway, it was startup cashflow-friendly to swing by the Bay Area and stay with friends.  Given the success of our first "Entrepreneurship Listening Tour" we decided to get in touch with a bunch of experienced people to get some feedback and to get on the Bay Area VC radar for later this year.

We're pretty booked during our days, but we'd love to catch up with and meet a lot of people.  On Thursday afternoon, we'll be co-working out of Citizen Space, and then heading out later to 21st Amendment.  Come work with us (or eat/drink with us)!   Tell us you're coming out that night here!

If there's anyone you really think we should meet--smart VC's, entrepreneurs, developers, please let us know.  E-mail us at us@path101.com or follow us on Twitter (@ceonyc and @alexlines). 

I'm a wannabe.

I wannabe a successful entrepreneur.  My definition of success is making a big positive impact on a lot of people's lives.  If I accomplish that, I'm sure the money will come, but in the words of Zuck, "I'm not really focused on that right now."

I wannabe a better person tomorrow than I was yesterday.

I wannabe someone that inspires others to go after what they really want.

Being called a wannabe isn't that bad.

However, I heard the term used to describe a local outspoken entrepreneur in a less than endearing way and I didn't quite see it as accurate.  The reason why this person rubbed others the wrong way wasn't because they were a wannabe--because that's not so bad.

It was because they were a "thinktheyare". 

There are definitely too many of those around for my taste.  The last thing in the world I think anyone could accuse me of is being a thinktheyare, because it's so incredibly important to give credit to the people around me and I feel like I'm incredibly fortunate to have such great people around me.  Anytime anyone tries to throw credit my way for something, I try hard to figure out who else helped get me somewhere, because I don't think I'm much more than someone who has a great circle around them.

When word of mouth is faster and cheaper than it ever has been before, the self-marketers really come out in full force.  Sometimes, it's tough to really figure out who's legit and who's just blowing smoke. 

But it's pretty clear to me who is a "thinktheyare" and I'll tell you that there's usually a strong correlation between being a thinktheyare and a smoke blower.  

Here are some easy ways to spoke a thinktheyare:

1. They like to tout the fact that they are the "only" or "first" person to do something.
2. It's never clear exactly what they did and where they did it.  You've often never heard of the companies they've worked with, or they namedrop with companies, but the exact role and what they accomplished is often unclear.
3. Thinktheyares are often attracted to or try to create artificial scarcity.  If they see something as being exclusive, even if it seems pointless as to the advantages of exclusivity in that situation, they're on it. 
4. They need to get their name attached to everything and they try to make everything "bigger". 
5. They speak at a lot of events, but when you ask startup pros who they'd want to do a particular job, the thinktheyare is never at the top of anyone's list for whatever their supposed expertise is.
6. They have a lot of "associations" with people... but as for strong two-way connections, the jury is out.
7. Thinktheyare's often feign help.  They tell you they'll hook you up with something, but it either never quite comes through or seems to come with some kind of unforseen string attached.

"I had been living this life for 27 years, and bits and pieces of me were all over the place, in many different people. I was, and still am, a chameleon, a changer, a morpher. Always a work in progress, and drawn toward newness like a crow toward shiny objects.

In the words of someone else who said it best.. “I am a mover of in betweens. I slip among classifications like water in cupped palms, leaving bits of myself behind. I am quick and deft… I am a chameleon. And the best chameleon has no center, no truer sense of self than what he is in the instant.” (Andrew Pham, Catfish and Mandala)"

My new favorite blogger.

Blogged with Flock

For the last few days, I've been thinking about a professional acquaintence turned new friend... They have a family member with a serious health issue, which happens to everyone at some point or another.

I was struck because, when I spoke to this person, she was more concerned with letting me get back to my business than what was going on in her life. I couldn't do it. I couldn't say, "Hey, um, yeah... sorry about your sick uncle...I gotta go return some important e-mail."

E-mail! "F" e-mail.

If it's important, they'll call. People don't call anymore. You know why? It's never important...not as important as a friend with a really serious problem.

I have another friend who recently busted a wheel on her car swirving out of the way of a pothole. It was raining and late at night. Rather than call anyone for help, she slept in the car in a parking lot until morning and then called a tow truck.

Have we gotten so low in our expectations of people? Have we gotten so self absorbed that we give off the impression that we can't be bothered with any kind of personal inconvenience?

At the end of the day, I want to deal with people who not only think I can make money for or with them but who care about me as a person. Our monthly board meetings include a few minutes for "How are you guys doing?" To me, that's almost the most important part of the meeting, because we're building applications for people, leveraging people, empowering people...if our own people aren't doing so well, it is highly unlikely our people centric application will amount to much.

On Friday, I hit four years of blogging.

To be honest, I'm not sure what to say about it. 

For the first time, I sort of feel like marking blogging anniversaries is like marking the day you first started talking to people.

Sure, it's a transformative and pivotal event in your life that changes the way you relate to other people--but imagine the alternative.

I used to say that blogging isn't for everyone.  Now, I think that blogging like I do isn't for everyone.  You don't have to talk about yourself, or blog everyday, or post pictures. 

But, to me, there are a few things about blogging that I just can't see people going without, because blogging is... 

...writing practice, and since most people can't write particularly well or just can always get better, is worth it to build that skill.

...a way for people who share interests to find you.

...a way for you to find others who share interests with you.

...a way to get feedback on your half-baked ideas.

...a way to differentiate yourself in a competitive job environment, because a resume sucks as a means of describing your depth of character, experience, and thoughtfulness.

...a way to sharpen your thinking by forcing yourself to make sense of streams of disconnected thoughts.

...a way to remember where you were and what you were thinking at any given time.

...a low maintenance way for acquaintances to keep up with what you're doing.

...an open, inviting way to communicate that says, "I want people to interact with and engage me."

...a way to contribute your best thinking at the time to the world, instead of keeping it all to yourself, or even worse, behind the locked doors of subscriptions, members only, or just hidden away in library stacks.

So, write about whatever's on your mind.  You shouldn't care about now many people read or how often you post, or even what your is called. 

Just whatever you do, don't stop communicating.  Here's to another four years of all this...

Blogged with Flock

2004 is over.  I really enjoyed myself this past year and accomplished a lot...  maybe more than I've ever done now that I think of it.  I went to California twice, Florida twice, to Chicago, DC, and to Boston--the most flying I've ever done in a single year.  I kayaked and helped others to take advantage of the Manhattan waterfront.  I put 10,000 miles on my car.  I started a website for college students, and saw a mentoring program through.  I helped put together the ILPA conference in New York.  I played on a kickball team and coached a corporate softball team to a winning record.  I started blogging this year.  I was in the newspaper not once, not twice, but three times.

I met some great new people, especially at the boathouse...  Kati, Sandy, Taino, Victor, Graeme, Gretha, Claire, etc...  rediscovered some old friendships, like Pastore, Kristin, Liz, and Susie, and said goodbye to a long friendship that didn't work.  I met lots of great people through work, like Fred and Brad at Union Square, Roger at Elevation Partners (and Bono, of course!), and Gina from the State of Virginia.
So how am I going to follow 2004 up?  I won't make resolutions, but I'll through out some goals.  I'd like to open myself up to a relationship, and while that's hardly a plannable goal, I think perhaps I've had opportunities in the past to create something and I wasn't ready for it.  Stanford remains a goal, whether I get in this year or submit another application in October.  A book is a goal--hopefully I have the right topic now and I'd also like to contibute as much as I can to helping people understand this new content medium.  I've been thinking that perhaps a return to church might be a goal... which I was never averse to, but I never set aside the time to be a part of a parish commuity, so it didn't interest me without that aspect.  And, finally, I'd like to start an alumni association for Fordham's College of Business Administration, which it is lacking at the moment.  Oh yeah.. and I want to buy an apartment this year, too.  That should be enough to keep me occupied.

This morning, my local R train arrived at 59th Street in Brooklyn just as an N train sat waiting on the express side. As the R train slowed to open its doors, the N train started up and took off, much to the shagrin of all of the R train passengers who wanted to transfer to the express. The N was not full and this is the second time this has happened to me in a week. I've been riding the subway almost everyday since I was 14 and if I had a dollar for everytime this happened to me, across multiple lines, I wouldn't be concerned about another fare hike.

Customers on the R train into Bay Ridge suffer some of the worst service the system has to offer because of the infrequency of service after rush hour. I've spent significant time waiting on that same 59th St. platform waiting for a local R to take me home after 8PM. Given that, the MTA should be doing everything it can to minimize wait times and passenger frustration on that line. I don't expect extra trains, but if a connecting express train is already in the station, it should never leave while a local is just seconds away from closing its doors.

This also leads to passenger frustration and stress, which I'm sure is positively correlated with incidence of violence, accidents, mistreatment of MTA employees. This makes what probably amounts to a 30 second tradeoff seem very worth it for all involved.

I'm asking that an express or connecting train never leave a station while another train is entering the other side with passengers waiting to connect.

Thank you for your consideration.

Charles E. O'Donnell
MTA Passenger, NYC + NYS Taxpayer

My college notebooks are pretty consistant...  pages and pages of a lesson title across the top of the page, and then... nothing.  All blank.  Page after page.  No notes.

In fact, I rarely ever take notes.  If I'm on an informational phonecall doing research, that's one thing, but for most meetings, don't expect to see a pen and paper in my hand.  It's just not the most effective way for me to retain knowledge.

Does that mean I don't care what you have to say?  Hardly!  It means I'm really listening intently, and completely focused on not just recording what you're talking about, but actually trying to understand it... seeing the forest, not just counting trees.  I'm trying to build a system of understanding in my head that not only helps me put the facts you're giving me into context, but will help me filter and interpret new facts that will be sure to come down the pipeline going forward--all based on what I'm learning from you.

And that's the most important thing for me.  We suffer from information overload.  I don't need more information... I need context and filters.  I need you to help me build a method and system for understanding what I need to understand... not more lists.  Because if I record your list, I'm sure to get another list from someone else, and see a list online, and before I know it, I have a list of everything--a universal set.  That won't do be any good.

I used to laugh when teachers would put up new math problems in class and call on someone in class to answer.  Those students would immediately go flipping through their notes.  Sorry, this isn't a problem you've seen before.  This is something entirely new that you're expected to answer given what you've LEARNED. 

You're not synthesizing!    You don't have this particular problem in your notes.  You're expected to actually think about it, and for many people, that doesn't happen through notetaking, but they're all taught to do that.  Take notes.  That's the way we all learn, right?

A lot of times, if I've been talking to someone and they're taking notes, I stop them.  The kinds of things you often take notes about can be looked up, while actual understanding isn't easily recalled.  This is especially the case in a hyperconnected, hyperpublished world, where all my brain needs to remember is that you mentioned a "search guy at New York Times" and it will take me two seconds to look up his information on LinkedIn and remember the name. 

If you didn't see the forest the first time, you're hardly going to be able to piece together the whole thing from the three trees you took notes on... and that's usually what notes wind up being:  A piecemeal, incomplete account of information completely without context.  Often times, this information often becomes self reinforcing and you can get led down a wrong path from it.  For example, if you're an entrepreneur and we're having a conversation about fundraising, I might rattle off a few of the kinds of angels I know that might invest in your company given what little I know about it, but maybe I don't really know enough.  You write these names down and then follow up by asking me for introductions to these people.  My assumption is that you've done your homework and figured out whether these folks are a good fit for your business.  Your assumption, however, was that I fully understood the nature of your business and suggested the best three angels for you. 

On the other hand, if there was some consistency in why I was naming particular angels, and you understood enough of that to ask a question like, "Are you naming those guys because they're all in NYC or they're all likely to do deals in the music space, because I don't plan on keeping the company here" then we can narrow down exactly who might be a good fit.  If you're just sitting there recording everything I say, you might miss that. 

Of course, everyone learns and listens differently.  Alex is a notetaker.  He's got a nice leatherbound book where he furiously records notes, thoughts, lists, etc.  That works for him.  Brad works the same way and he's extremely organized about it.  I often wondered if it was about creating a physical reference to go back to or helping to commit important facts to memory--or whether it was something completely different...  some kind of internal blog of thoughts born from the meeting itself.   Fred, however, I've never seen take a pad to a meeting.  He learns by interacting, by poking holes, poking bears...  He's a tinkerer.  He'll never remember the three companies you said you were in contract with, but he'll think more about why those companies are a good fit for you.  The next time you talk to him, he'll name you six companies you should try to do deals with--the three companies you already gave him and the three that are next highest on your list that you never ever mentioned.  

Also, when I meet someone for the first time, to me, it's about relationship building, not one way downloading. People aren't information stores to be downloaded.  In my mind, and for the way I work, they're applications to be interacted with.  I'd rather build a relationship with you where I understand your interests, your market, your ideas--what you bring to the table-- nd you learn the same about me, see how passionate I am, etc...  just two people talking shop and getting to know each other.  It's all about leaving markers for me.  I'll mark in my head what kinds of information I can rely on you for later, but not necessarily the details of what information that was, because I want to make it a great conversation so that we want to chat again. 

To be honest, if this is a one shot deal and I have to quickly get from you what I can because you don't have the interest in continuing this, I'm really not interested.  There are so many people out there with great experience that I believe you can get a lot further by focusing on the ones that like you, believe in you, and share your vision. 

At the end of the day, we all have different styles and different methods of dealing with information that work for us.  It's a bad move to interpret someone else's style in the context of your own and make assumptions about what it means.  I don't have a notepad.  I'm not good with notes.  I find them distracting, they never really get processed and organized--they're not going to do either of us any good, so trust me, you don't want me taking them.  I'll do the extra research immediately after a meeting to recreate a good portion of the lists you mentioned by connecting, tagging, discovering, etc. in exchange for being able to see the bigger picture behind what you were talking about.  If you can do both, great.

Blogged with Flock

Boston got 7 inches of snow this morning, but it was light and fluffy when it first fell.  I was able to clean my car out pretty quickly with just a broom.  I had a little help from a Harvard facilities plow as well.

Supposedly, its going to turn to rain, so I should be able to get home ok tonight.

Blogged with Flock