"I don't drink. I'm just here for the phenomenon." 

That's what I told someone at an impromptu Gary Vee party the other night in San Fran.  I don't have any issues with it--just never got into it and prefer not to start.  To each their own, right?

So, the fact that I'm blogging about a wine videoblogger who owns a wine store in Springfield, NJ should mean something.

I first heard about Gary Vee (Vaynerchuk) at this year's SXSW.  When the sponsored parties in Austin got too crowded, Gary (conveniently sporting several cases of wine) threw an impromptu party at the Marriot.  The buzz was immediate... and my first thought was "Who the f is Gary Vee?"

Caroline McCarthy summed it up best when she said that Gary was the "Jay Gatsby of SXSW".

At first, I was pretty disinterested in the buzz.  By nature, I tend not to like stuff that everyone else likes.  I never saw Titanic and a big part of the turnoff for me was that everyone else did.  Plus, like I said before, I don't drink, so why should I care about a wine guy?

But the buzz grew...  and what I started to realize was that it wasn't really about the wine.  It was about people.  The other day, Gary inspired hundreds of people to just say something nice about someone else as part of "Good People Day."

That was it.  Just talk about good people, and link to them.

*Scratches head*

So now I'm thinking, "Either this guy's a nutball, or maybe he's on to something."

Turns out, it's both.  He's a bit nutty, but what convinced me that he was onto something was meeting him in person and seeing him in action.

Alex is kind of a foodie and so he got excited when Twitter started buzzing about Gary's trip to the Bay Area. Gary was speaking at Google and planned to get a party going that night.  Alex and I were hanging out with Rachel, and we all decided to check things out.

After some Twitter debate, Eos was chosen as the location.  We were some of the first to arrive.  Little by little, folks with that "I'm looking for someone I know from the interwebs" look started poking around. 

"Are you here for... um... "

"Yeah...  you?"

"Yeah...   When's Gary coming?"

The staff reaction at Eos was funny.  Apparently, they didn't know we were coming.

"How many people are coming?

"Well, it's tough to say...  You see, there's this thing called Twitter... and... um... somewhere between 10 and 5000 I'd say is a safe bet."

Soon, there were at least 50 people and the party moved upstairs.  Everyone was really excited and when Gary arrived, things became crystal clear.

It wasn't about Gary at all. 

It was about the wine... but... it wasn't really even about the wine, because it's what wine really represents.  Wine is people... it's people celebrating, it's people socializing.  It's getting to know a good wine and a good person... and that's what Gary does.  He doesn't promote wine.  He promotes people... other people... the company of others.

The only time I actually heard Gary say the words Wine Library was when one of the restaurant staff asked him if he was a critic--trying to figure out who the heck he was.  Points off for them for owning a a wine bar and not knowing, but either way it was only then that he gave her his card.  Other than that, he mixed with the crowd--people he knew and people he didn't.  He welcomed us and was genuinely excited to see us.

There were no logos, no pitches or speeches.  No "sponsor sessions".  It was just a great time and Gary footed the bill for the whole thing.... easily a few grand...  quite easily.  All that wine, some food, and my Sprite.  :)

What I was left with was a great experience and the desire to talk to others about it--exactly what every single brand out there is trying to do and almost all of them are failing at miserable at.

And don't tell me it's easier with wine, because I don't even drink the stuff and here I am talking about it to 2500 people.

All the hot air that gets blown around about social media, community, blogging, branding, etc...  and very little of it can hold a candle to what this random wine guy in Jersey does every single day.

And what does he do?  He's just passionate about what he does and loves people.  Notice I didn't say loves his customers, or loves wine drinkers.  He loves people.  That's critical, because most people aren't there aren't your customers.  They're just people, and if you don't show them some love first, forget about ever being lucky enough to call them customers.

And its making him money, too.  Wine Library does over $50 million a year in business, with internet sales increasing $10 million in the last two years alone.  But, all that seems like an afterthought, really. 

So this meandered a bit.  You want key takeaways?

Here's what I've got:

1.  It's not about Gary.  He promotes other people and encourages people to promote each other more than he ever pitches himself.

2.  He takes it to the streets.  You want people talking about your brand in person?  Talk with them about it--in person.  The sheer amount of people Gary meets in person is astounding.  How many people a year does the face of your company meet?  Does your company even have a face--and not just a face, but does your company have a handshake, too?

3.  Stay positive.  If you needed to feel better about something, who would you rather get a phonecall from?  Gary Vee or Mike Arrington?  The guy just overflows with positivity--and that attracts people.  People want to feel good.  They don't want to get dragged into blogwars, flamewars.  Gary doesn't say that his competitors "must die."  In fact, he probably shops at his competitors.  There's already enough problems out there to get people down each day--people are going to tire of you pretty quickly if you don't immediately make them feel good.

4. Give it away.  Do whatever you can to put your product in people's hands...  even if you have to give it away.  It gets people talking...  and they can't talk about your product unless they have it.

5. Get off your high horse.  By videoblogging about wine, Gary brings a somewhat sophisticated, maybe a little "insider" activity down to the level that everyone can understand... and he clearly wants everyone to understand it.  This isn't the kind of brand that says, "We don't want our ads next to user gen content" or "We only want a certain type of clientele."   Gary screams "join in... everyone!"

"It's Kylie at (Restaurant?) Capital.  I'm just calling to let you know that Josh is on his way there and he's about 5 minutes away."

...or Carly from First Round Capital.

"Hi, Charles. It's Mom. Nana just called. She booked a ride with (Ces and Roy?) tomorrow, so she booked, and she's coming into Brooklyn, okay"

...Who the f are Ces and Roy and why are they driving my grandmother around?  Ohhh...  Access-a-Ride!

Charlie, I'm picking up the (aero bed?) for you in (Lennington Panes?). It's $99.00 and I have a 20% coupon.

...Lennington Panes...   a window shop that sells air beds?   Ah...   Linen's and Things!

see more crazy cat pics

bucket « Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures - I Can Has Cheezburger?

If you should discover that, after decades of marriage and a meteoric career, I have spent $80k on high priced hookers, please dump my ass...

...right on the street...

...in public...

...right in the middle of my press conference.

Do not be supportive.  I do not deserve it.

Do not keep my kids around me.  They'd be better off if I wasn't around.

Matias was institutionalized after trying to set a car on fire with his children inside in Pennsylvania, police said. Family members said it was only after one of his sons said goodbye to his sister that Matias changed his mind and decided not to torch the car.

It was not clear why he continued to have visitation rights.

Blogged with Flock

Blogged with Flock

Blogged with Flock

There's a man sitting across from me reading "The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God". This small paperback has a picture of some little figure, perhaps the distant cousin of a WeeMee, shooting himself in the head with the bullet exiting out the top in a small burst of splat. So, if I seem distracted this morning, its because I'm keeping a close eye on that guy for sudden movements.

There's a short girl standing next to me reading a a magazine article about traumatic brian injury. Very few other people are reading. I'd love to see an analysis of time of day, whether a person is reading, catching up on zzz's, playing video games or listening to their iPod or some combo.

This train is unquestionably a zzz train. I'd say that 60% of the people in this train have their eyes closed. It's 7:20AM and I'm on my way to Fordham to teach class. There's a banana in my tummy, but I'll def need my MetRx shake when I get back to the office at 10:30AM.

I gotta remember to tell my students to allow anonymous comments on their blogs.

There are two City Year girls on the train. They're in there big red winter coats. Those coats look pricey. I wonder what percentage of City Year donations go to buy coats for volunteers. Couldn't they just get hats? I never see them actually working or sponsoring anything...just collecting money. What does City Year do anyway? If my kid ever wanted to stand on the street and collect money for charity, I'd hand them a donation that covers there summer (if I had it) and tell them to go be an intern in a program management or policy making department within a non-profit or government sponsored social program. I think that's where you make a much bigger impact, especially since most donations come from corporations anyway.

I just switched to the 6 train at Union Square... I plenty of time to get to Grand Central. Look, there are Dominican Academy girls on this train...haha. DA!

Girls from DA were the first girls you met in Regis because we had a joint fundraiser with them in October... a Walk-a-Thon around the Upper East Side and the park, which basically meant that everyone in Regis dated a DA girl in freshman year. But I was cool because my DA girl was a sophomore. She taught me who the Ramones were. I feel like I told this story before.

This guy just walked onto the train. He's a dead ringer for Chin Ming Wang...and he's wearing a Yankee cap. Only... he's obviously a high school student.

I kinda feel like we have bigger fish to fry.  At least this model is pretty well covered up.  If I had a daughter, I'd rather her look at ads like this in Times Square than ads of half-naked women in sexually suggestive poses.  Isn't that a much worse objectification of women?

I dunno about you, if this ad makes you want to shoot things at women's crotches, I sort of feel like maybe you had some issues before you saw it.  Me personally, it makes me wish for snow.

Blogged with Flock

You know what the Fake Reach is... You've either done it or expected someone to do it.

You're out at lunch with Bill Gates. He invited you to join him to get your expertise on social media. The bill comes.

You do the Fake Reach.

You have absolutely no intention to contribute any money to this meal and all social ettiquette rules dictate that he should treat. Still, you don't want to seem too entitled or expectant, so you fake willingness to pay just to acknowledge their gesture of paying.

You wait for them to waive you off...

"No, no... I got it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, my pleasure..."

"Oh, thanks...I got it next time."

Ever been on the other side of a date where you knew you were paying or being paid for and the Fake Reach was used?

Giselle sneaks away from Tom Brady to go to lunch with you and the bill comes for your meals. Does Giselle even carry money? What would be the point? Does she need to pay anywhere for anything?

Still, she's gotta do the Fake Reach. Lord knows, given some of the outfits she wears, where she'd even reach, but still, she's gotta reach. Otherwise, in my book, she's definitely not worth the second date. :)

My friend just had a baby... a completely unexpected baby as of about three months before she was born.  The details of how a baby can be unexpected so far along are unimportant.  The most important thing is that I witnessed a couple so singularly focused on this new little person that it really affected me.  This couple isn't married and they haven't been dating much more than a year or so, but now they're a family.

They're a family because they all chose to be so.  Well, the baby didn't choose, but knowing the parents, I'm pretty confident she would have made the same chose.

Does this couple know every last little detail about each other?  Nope.

Do they know all of their roommate idiosyncrasies, like whether there's drinking from the carton or balls of hair left in the shower?  Doubtful.

But this little person just seem to make all that insignificant  Maybe you're a match on paper, maybe you're not.  Bottom line is that you've got two people dedicated to figuring it out for the sake of another.

When I think of it that way, it doesn't seem like such a stretch to think that two people should be able to figure things out if they just do it for the sake of each other.  Love shouldn't be so hard and there's certainly too much stuff we let get in the way of it.

It seems like most of us clutter up our minds and our hearts with truly insignificant crap.  We're not good at reduction.  We can always think of more things to worry about, to ponder, to get excited about, but how often do we focus on less things?

This couple now has one thing to think about, and all of the sudden, their life, rather than being complicated by this beautiful baby, now seems so simple. 

They don't need a 72-point eHarmony diagnostic to tell them if they're a match.  They don't need to treat the other person like a discounted cash flow model--calculating whether or not they'll be able to support them in the lifestyle and social status that they're accustomed to.  They don't need congressional approval from the congress of friends in their life--mostly temporary people who have a nearly non-existent stake in the outcome of their lives and who probably won't be around for half of it.

We live in an age where information, in addition to informing us, pollutes us.  We're paralyzed by fear.  Rather than look at our own job security, we watch the unemployment number.  Rather than look at our own budget, we watch the housing foreclosure numbers.  We're so focused on staying at home to watch the consumer confidence index, rather than going out and buying the things we can afford that we really want.  And if we can't afford them, we spend too much time watching what other people have to appreciate the things we do have.

Its funny, too, when you think about what people choose to optimize for.  A lot of people decide that they'd rather be focused on careers rather than family.  Given the empirical evidence, I'd say that you have a lot better shot at reaching happiness through living for others than living for your job.  (Of course, I of all people still think its extremely worth it to also focus on reaching happiness in your job, but there's got to be some kind of priorities.)

So what's truly important to you in your life?  How long is that list?

I'd say that if your list is any more than about two or three things, its too damn long.  Focus, people! 

Blogged with Flock

Blogged with Flock

I don't often need to blow my nose, because I never get sick. If I get the sniffles once every two years, its a lot. I'm pretty sure I didn't get sick in 2007, so when I found myself a little congested last night I figured I was due. I feel just fine, though.

Anyway, anytime I blow my nose, I think of my grandfather. He got Lou Gerhig's disease (ALS) when I was in high school and had very quickly lost the ability to lift his arms at all. That meant that noseblowing was out of the question....so when I went over to his house to help out, I always had to help him blow his nose. He'd yell at me because, instead of just putting the tissue to his nose, I'd squeeze it, like most of us do. Of course, squeezing makes no sense because if you're trying to clear your nose, closing off your nostrils only impedes the process.

Anyway, I don't squeeze my nose when I blow, or at least, try not to... but everytime I do, I think of my grandfather.

We made a set of videos to give our various perspectives on Path 101.  You should definitely check them out on the Path 101 blog.

I had a little fun, though, and decided to make Christopher Walken our Path 101 spokesman: