Venture Capital & Technology Charlie O'Donnell Venture Capital & Technology Charlie O'Donnell

Pimp My Tech Services Business

You've dreamed of it.

You're sitting in your house, minding your own business, and the doorbell rings.  You peek through the front window to see who it is, catching a glimpse of the rusted out '82 Chevelle in your driveway, and...  can it be?  Yes!  Yes, its him!

Xzibit has come to pimp your tech services business.

He's going to set you up with a phat new 22 inch metadata warehouse and some chrome 3rd parties who want to know what your userbase is up to and are willing to pay some bling for the audience data and access.

There's a catch, though.  Your company might look like a data business on the outside, but, just like on "Pimp My Ride", they never pimp your engine.  Inside, providing a steady, but unspectacular cashflow is still your little tough to grow service business.  It pays the bills, but VC's aren't really falling over themselves to get it.  Try raising capital on the promise of your data centric business but based on the revenue multiple of your yawner of a service business.  The two just don't match.

The ironic thing is, yawner or not, your service business actaully has, well, real live guinuine customers, and those customers are what drives your data business.  You don't want to give those away for free, but a VC isn't really interested in that side.  VCs want in on your startup data business, at a single digit premoney, not a 3x multiple of a services business that doesn't scale.  They do care about it, though, because they have to--its the boring core services business that generates all the metadata that's driving the upside of the new, but untested, venture.

You could seperate the businesses and even have one invest in the upside of the other, but then how do you divide your staff?  Try holding a company meeting and asking for volunteers to stay to care and feed the services side while everyone else joins the new Web 2.0 data venture.  Who's going to be the odd man out on the management team?  Seperating:  easier said then done.

But yet, if you don't raise money, you might not be able to take advantage of this potential opportunity.  Clearly, as services business realize that data is the key to differentiating themselves in a crowded market, a lot of thorny questions are going to need to get addressed to ensure they hit the ground running with the right balance sheet and the right resources.

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Random Stuff Charlie O'Donnell Random Stuff Charlie O'Donnell

Ray Beck's Got My Back

I just got off the phone with the GM Benefits center regarding my retirement and savings plans.  I had called them with an issue when I left and hadn't received the form they said there were going to send me.  So, I called their hotline and got Ray Beck.  Ray was, by far, the most helpful customer service person I've ever dealt with... and he couldn't even solve my problem directly, but he said exactly the kind of things he needed to say to make me feel like someone was on it.  I hate when I call customer service people and I feel like they have no interest in helping me outside of their scripted little workflow process. 

Ray asked me to hold on while checked on my issue and then came back and said that they had my request and that there was a backlog.  He told me he'd put a memo on my request that helps it get to the top of the pile.  Now, maybe that's a BS line, but then he took my number and said he'd look into the matter in a couple of days to see if there was any progress, and then he'd call me with a status update.  He was incredibly polite and he told me he'd keep an eye on it to make sure it went through.  He then told me to write down his name so that he knew who was working on it and who to reference if I called back.  So now, I know that Ray Beck's going to "keep an eye" on my request and let me know how its going.  That makes me feel better.  Ray made me believe.  Ray's going to call up the people that the request goes to and say, "Hey.. what's going on with Charlie's request... he's waiting for it."   He's lookin' out for me.  He's got my back.   Ray Beck...  my man in Detroit... takin' care of business.

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The Blogosphere Charlie O'Donnell The Blogosphere Charlie O'Donnell

High School Bans Blogging

***UPDATE...   As Principal Sousa himself, in addition to several other people, pointed out, he did not ban "blogging" per say...   just access to myspace.  However, I still stand by my opinion that this isn't the right way to go.  First of all, who is anyone to judge that what goes on at MySpace doesn't have value in its purpose as a social network and a platform for self-expression.  Certainly the school promotes socializing during school hours, right?  Are the students not allowed to talk to each other in the hallways either?  Not everyone expresses themselves in the school play, and for some students, its important for them to be able to express themselves on MySpace...   and the site's heavy use underscores the need for proactive education on responsible maintainence of a public online identity.  Blocking the site isn't the answer... especially because students can just as easy write e-mails or, as I've learned, blog elsewhere with the same exact content.  So, no, this principal didn't ban blogging... he singled out one blogging site and decided that the kind of self-expression that was going on at MySpace wasn't appropriate for school use.  This, I fundamentally disagree with.  For many students, their MySpace pages, much the way LiveJournal pages act, are an integral social support network and an outlet.  Its not for adults to read and understand, and certainly not for them to judge.   So, I correct myself, but I still disagree with his actions.  As you can see, my letter is not nasty....  its actually agrees with some of the Principal's concerns, and just offers some alternative, proactive solutions.  It was met with a curt, unfriendly response that I will not post.***

Thanks Danah for bringing this to our attention.   I'm sure Principal Christopher Sousa of Proctor Junior - Senior High School in Vermont, the school administrator who blocked his students' access to blogging sites, is going to get lots of blogger hate mail, so I sent him a note with some constructive comments and positive suggestions for a more proactive approach to his situation.  This reminds me of when Our Lady of Guadalupe, my elementary school, banned Bart Simpson t-shirts on dress down days. 

I've included my note below.  If anyone else would like to write Mr. Sousa an equally constructive letter telling him about how positive and educational the use of blogs can be, he can be e-mailed at sousac@proctorhs.org.  Please, no profanity or blogger hate mail.  Keep it professional. 

Christopher,

I heard about your recent blogging ban and I would like to offer some alternative suggestions. I agree with you that there are lots of ways that young people are blogging that are not particularly educational. And, there are certainly risks associated with the public posting of personal data on the web. However, an outright ban does nothing to solve the problem. It only pushes off this non-educational, potentially dangerous behavior to non-school hours.

As an alternative, I would suggest holding a series of classes, potentially for both students and parents, on productive uses of blogging and the proper way to safeguard personal information over the web. Blogging is not just about putting one’s favorite bands on MySpace. I run a website called www.successblogging.com that talks about how blogging can be used as a career tool. I just had a speaking engagement at the New York Society of Securities Analysts with 50 financial professionals interested in this new communication platform. Blogging can be a great marketing and self promotion tool, as well as a great source of industry information. As an investment analyst for a venture capital firm, I subscribe to over 75 blogs related to technology, marketing, and investing and regard it as a vital source of up to the minute information and commentary. Many of these bloggers are experienced professionals that maintain impressive offline credentials as well.

I am also mentoring a student from my alma mater, Fordham University, and we are currently developing some ideas on how she can use a blog as professional journal in order to record her internship search and career interests, not only as a way to promote herself, but also to have a place on the web where prospective employers can be impressed with her drive and insight. Students need to realize that they will be “Googled” in the future when they go out looking for jobs, and the blogs they are creating will become permanent parks of their record. Without such teaching, they will fail to take advantage of an important opportunity.

Many schools, when first instituting computer networks, hesitated to even connect students to the internet, for fear of them accessing illicit sites and using it for non-educational purposes. Now, it is a qualification for just about any professional job to do research on the web or be able to communicate via e-mail. Instead of covering their eyes, why not show them a positive, educational approach to blogging, as many other schools are already doing.


Charles E. O'Donnell

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The Blogosphere, Writing Projects Charlie O'Donnell The Blogosphere, Writing Projects Charlie O'Donnell

Why blogging is good for your career II

So I tracked back to 20 or so amazingly knowledgeable bloggers to get them to come to this post.  Perhaps this isn't the intended or accepted use of trackbacks, and they're certainly welcome to delete the trackback from their page if they feel it is inappropriate.  All I'm looking for is some feedback on this post which is very important to me. 

Shel Israel had a great idea when he posted his literary proposal on his blog to solicite feedback and I'm doing the same.  (Imitation being the sincerest form...)   Basically, I'm looking to write a book on blogging as a career development tool and the following is my literary proposal.  I welcome all contructive feedback.  Feel free to link to me or forward me around to friends, especially if they're in publishing.  I really think I have something here with this book, but I could definitely use the collective advice of The Blogosphere.  Thanks!!     -Charlie

____________________________________

Over four million people are doing it—up from a half million just a year ago.  John Kerry did it during the election.  Moby does it.  Al Roker does it, too.  It was the most searched term in Merriam Webster’s online dictionary in 2004.

While millions have become pundits, watchdogs and commentators thanks to “blogs”, many more are sitting on the sidelines waiting for more practical applications of the hottest online trend.  Not everyone wants to expose their personal lives for public viewing or promote political beliefs, but given a method of achieving meaningful and tangible results in their lives, millions more are likely to join the crowd.

Just as the internet changed the way we apply for jobs, research companies, and network with peers, blogging is quickly influencing how careers are developed.  Thought leaders in every industry are building up significant online followings through blogging.  Those that know how to find this collective wisdom are finding themselves at a distinct advantage in their career.  In addition, some people have even transformed themselves into thought leaders themselves by taking advantage of blogs’ unique ability for widespread promotion.

“Success Blogging” will be the first blog related book in the Career Development genre, aiming squarely to make internet job search books obsolete.  Books like Elizabeth Oakes’ “Career Exploration on the Internet: A Student's Guide to More Than 300 Web Sites!” and “Weddle's Directory of Employment-Related Internet Sites: For Recruiters & Job Seekers 2004” will soon be forgotten, making way for “how-to” professional and career blogging books and blogging indexes. 

Blogs are quickly becoming an indispensable source of industry information, networking, as well as a unique form of self promotion.  My book will detail practical applications of blogs for career advancement.  The book will first educate readers on what blogs are and how to access existing ones, with an emphasis on finding blogs with relevant industry specific and career information and integrating them into an internet user’s daily regimen.  Second, it will explain how readers can easily create their own sites, specifically with the purpose of career related self-promotion.  Lastly, I will explain how blogs can be a great tool for networking, fulfilling the promise that social networking sites will ultimately fall short on.  Throughout the book, I will focus on pitfalls they need to be careful about, such as judging the legitimacy of existing blogs as a source of information or maintaining professionalism on their own blogs.

The Market

     According to Technorati.com, the number of blogs has doubled every five months over the last year and a half.  Jason Calcanis, well known

New York

entrepreneur and founder of Weblogsinc.com wrote, “Everyone will have a blog in ten years or less… The way everyone has an email address today and so few people had email in 1994, the same will happen to your blog address…Blogs are hyped, but the truth is they will ultimately surpass and transcend the current hype — the same way the Internet did.”

     Yet, blogs are still relatively unfamiliar territory to most people.  According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project, as of early 2004, “… between 2% and 7% of adult Internet users have created diaries or blogs. In this survey we found that 11% of Internet users have read the blogs or diaries of other Internet users.”   This points to the need to convince internet users, and anyone else, of more practical uses for blogging.  Many still think of blogging as a “geek” practice, or they see it more like an online diary, which they may not be comfortable with. 

     By promoting blogs as a practical tool that should be a part of everyone’s career strategy, this book will “one up” all of the popular books on using the internet as a career search tool.  Current offerings are focused on directories of websites and social networking, but few of these authors have caught on to the blog phenomenon as a career tool. 

     Of the 22 books that appear on Amazon when you search on “blogs,” 14 of the books were written this year or are due to come out next year.  Several of the listings aren’t even books—publishers are scurrying to quickly release e-books or Audio CDs to catch the blog wave.  Most of these books are about the basics of blogging.  A book specifically about how blogs can be relevant to careers would leapfrog the competition and be the first of its kind.  If experts are right, and blogs become anywhere near as mainstream as e-mail, there will be blog related books in every vertical, from cooking to law, and most definitely in the career area. Books that focus on static websites with infrequently updated information will become obsolete.  These websites and portals will no longer be the preferred method of seeking out industry and employment information, losing out to up to the minute postings by blogging thought leaders and corporate blogs. 

     This book would be the first entrant into what is sure to be a large market for books related to career blogging.  Just as there are internet books that cut across all verticals, there will certainly be blog related books in each vertical as the medium continues its explosive growth.  There are currently about two dozen blog related offerings on Amazon.com.  However, almost all of these books are either technical introductions to blogs or social research texts on this new phenomenon.  This book would be in the Careers genre, as opposed to the Internet, Computer, or Sociology genre, where most of these other blog books are located. 

Chapter Outline

*      Chapter 1: Introduction

This chapter will set an inviting and friendly tone, by indicating that this book is written for internet users of a wide range of expertise, including beginners.  It will also briefly outline what readers can expect in rest of the book in terms of content, focusing on the practical “how-to’s” versus the technical details of blogging. 

*      Chapter 2: What are Blogs and Who’s Blogging? 

The second chapter will explain what blogs are, where they came from, and the reason for their sudden popularity in 2004.  It will tell the story of blogging from the first bloggers to the entrepreneurs behind the most popular blogging sites, like Pyra Labs/Blogspot, Six Apart, and Live Journal.  It will also detail blogging’s explosion in popularity in 2004, especially around the election and the Dan Rather Memogate scandal.  This chapter will also cover the changing nature of the face of bloggers—once cutting edge “web geeks” and now rapidly becoming not only individuals from a wide variety of fields, but also large corporations, startup companies and professional or non-profit organizations. 

*      Chapter 3: Why are they Relevant to My Career?

This chapter will introduce the topic of career development, and how a more competitive environment has increased the importance of industry knowledge, networking, and self promotion.  The chapter will draw the connection between the importance of hiring well and hiring “known commodities” from a network, emphasizing proactive career and network development.

This chapter also promotes the value of firsthand industry knowledge through networking, both for the purposes of being more aware of the latest trends, as well as getting a better understanding of where you might fit in an industry.  The book in general takes the position that more fitting a job is for you, the more success you are likely to have.  Therefore, blogs can help drive success by helping you identify, from the firsthand accounts of professionals, the specific areas within each sector that best fits your unique talents and interests.

Here, I will also briefly introduce the idea of blogs as a tool of self promotion as well as a form of professional journal.  It will discuss the potential benefits of blogging about your own work accomplishments as well as being able to have such an account when you take part in a hiring process.  Applicants to a position might find a well written account, in a blog format, of work accomplishments, industry analysis, etc to be a differentiating factor that leads to being hired..

*      Chapter 4: Blogs and RSS:  How to Read Blogs Easily on a Daily Basis

Before the book can progress to discussing the practical uses of blogs, the reader must be educated on some easy to learn technical logistics on how to access different blogs.  This involves a description of RSS and how it differs from HTML.  It will also detail how users can organize their reading of multiple blogs by using a RSS feeds and a feed reader.  It will feature a comparison of currently available readers. 

This chapter will also discuss the non-technical aspects of integrating blogs into their daily lives, including decisions around time spent reading or writing blogs, and how a person decides how frequently they would like to tap into their blogs.

*      Chapter 5: Mining the Blogosphere: Finding Relevant Career and Industry Blogs

Searching for relevant and interesting blogs to read can be very difficult.  Search tools like Google and Technorati search on words within blog content, rather than grouping sites into topical categories.  This chapter will cover the best ways to initially find a blog worth reading, and then to branch out from that first discovery through its commentary, traded links, and “Who I read” lists.  It will also discuss ways to quickly assess the quality of a blog and the qualifications of the author.

Another important piece of advice to the reader is to prune their feed lists.  The amount of content available on blogs can overwhelm someone in a short amount of time.  Readers should make sure they are keeping their readings within the scope that they set out on, so as to make sure the process of keeping up with their blogs isn’t a two hour a day exercise. 

*      Chapter 6: Interacting with Industry Blog Communities

Just as there are effective and, moreover, proper ways to network with people at a cocktail party, there are definitely unstated “rules of engagement” in blogs.  Blogging has developed into a particularly positive medium, where large numbers of like minded people interact with each other, trade links, comment on each other’s blogs, and read some of the same blogs.  New entrants to the field need to understand the rules of the game and the best way to engage more experienced bloggers if they are to truly benefit from this great career tool.  New bloggers will be introduced to commenting and trackbacks, as well as commonly used methods of quoting. 

*      Chapter 7: Creating Your Own Professional Blog: Who, What, Why, Where and How?

Blogging can be a unique tool for self promotion, enabling just about anyone to create a name for themselves as good as the content they can create.  However, a lot of work needs to go into clearly outlining a strategy, as with any kind of new product or marketing campaign.  This chapter will help readers create a blog that plays to their strengths—one that will be interesting and useful to readers.  It will focus on the following topics:

o       Who should create a professional blog?

Anyone with any kind of job can and should be writing a blog.  There are different types of blogs and new bloggers need to understand how each type or combination of types might fit their purpose.  This section will cover:

§         Career journalizing – A record of your career accomplishments

§         Industry commentary – Your thoughts on new developments or trends in your field of interest

§         Resource aggregation/facilitators – Creating a resource for others in your industry that connects to other links or provides information

§         Blogging for your business – Using blogs as a tool to generate brand awareness and customer loyalty

This chapter will also detail where users can create their blogs and what tools they can use.  It will describe the different features of each services and help users decide whether or not they want to go with a free service with less features versus a pay site. 

*      Chapter 8: Content and Your Blog:  What to Write and What Not to Write

The value of a blog wholly rests in the quality of its content.  Before they start writing, authors need to decide the following:

§         How often Readers want to reasonably judge how often they want to post content, which is a decision that follows from both the nature of the content and the willingness of the blogger to make time to post.

§         What to blog  Great bloggers blog about what they know or they post interesting questions about what they don’t know, which requires a realistic assessment of the kind of content they are going to post.

§         What not to blog  Where will the bloggers “line” be.  Every blogger draws the line somewhere on what they are going to write about and what topics are off limits.  Bloggers expose their personal lives on different levels and new bloggers need to decide not only what they are comfortable posting about, but what their readers will be interested in and the consequences of getting too personal. 

Also, bloggers need to be aware of legal issues around blogging.  Can you get fired for something written on your blog?  Certainly.  I plan to interview several lawyers to get the details on privacy issues and libel, which new career bloggers need to be aware of. 

§         How to make it interesting  What is the unique angle that career bloggers will take in their writing that will make it interesting for a reader. 

*      Chapter 9: Promoting Your Professional Blog

This chapter will detail not just ways to promote your blog, but also the strategy behind what kind of promotion one might seek.  Great blogs don’t need a ton of readers—they need a relevant following.  This chapter will detail how to promote your blog, both online and even offline in order to generate the audience that is right for them.

*      Chapter 10: The Web as a Career Tool: Blogs vs. Websites and Social Networking Sites

This chapter will help the reader understand how blogs fit into the ecosphere of other types of online tools, including regular websites and social networking sites.  I will make the argument that blogs are quickly winning out over other tools as a means of career development and that blogs are the career development trend that people should be taking advantage of.  I will also discuss how blogs are likely going to fit into the employment process going forward, helping potential employers seek out and understand new hires and what they bring to the table. 

*      Appendix: Index of Career Specific and Industry Related Blogs

As a useful resource, I will give the readers a head start in searching out relevant career blogs by listing a sizable number of blogs in a wide variety of careers, each with a small description and profile of who the blogger is and what kind of content they have on their site. 

About the Author

Charlie O’Donnell is uniquely positioned between the technology and career education worlds.  After graduating from

Fordham

University

with a concentration in Finance, he has achieved success in his own career at a young age, landing an analyst position with General Motors Asset Management.  GMAM is one of the most highly regarded investors in venture capital and private equity and has invested with some of the most highly successful VC firms behind the most revolutionary technology trends in the last two decades.  In addition to being a regular blogger at “This is going to be big.  I can feel it.” (http://thisisgoingtobebig.typepad.com), Charlie tracks over 40 industry blogs related to venture capital, technology, and marketing strategy in order to stay current on this dynamic industry.

Charlie also has an extensive track record of working on new approaches to career development.  His career advice blog, www.findmypath.com, has been featured in Newsday.  In 2003, Charlie collaborated with

Fordham

University

’s Career Planning and Alumni Relations groups to create the school’s first student-alumni mentoring program targeted at matching recent alumni with freshmen and sophomores.  The program was inspired by Charlie’s experience as a board member, mentor, and speaker for NYSSA’s SEMI program—which is a

New York City

based program aimed at mentoring and educating young people with an interest in Finance.  He has also given several talks to

New York City

area college students on networking, career searches, and resume writing.

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It's My Life Charlie O'Donnell It's My Life Charlie O'Donnell

The Working in Bryant Park Experiment

I am in serious need of outside time...  March in New York has been awful.  It snowed several times, and on Monday, there was so much rain, they started loading sewer rats, muggers, and subway battery hawkers onto an Ark in Times Square two by two.

So this afternoon, since its going to be 57 degrees and sunny, I'm going to untether myself from the office and take my laptop to wireless enabled Bryant Park.  So, from 2-6, feel free to come say hello (but keep in mind I'll actually be working, too.)  I'll post again once I get there, so you don't wind up wandering around if, for some reason, I don't make it.

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Fordham, The Blogosphere Charlie O'Donnell Fordham, The Blogosphere Charlie O'Donnell

Do you need an enthusiastic Fordham intern?

This post is an experiment of sorts--to see the network effect of the blogosphere in action to help get my mentee an internship.

I have been mentoring a bright young Fordham freshman for a few months now and she's trying to get an internship over the summer.  I have posted her resume below, and would like to say a few words about her.  Hopefully, someone who reads this blog will be interested in hiring a highly motivated young woman for a summer position where she can learn a lot and also contribute to real projects in a meaningful way.

I was impressed with Christina Maresca's enthusiasm right away.  She has been very engaged in our mentoring relationship and works very hard at school.  She is currently attending Fordham at the Marymount campus in Tarrytown, but will be transferring to the College of Business Administration at Rose Hill at the end of the semester.  She is a scholarship student and she is already involving herself on campus in leadership roles--becoming the Treasurer of the Italian club immediately after starting school.  She works two jobs while attending school--at the Gap and at the school's health center.

She has an interest in business, but one of the things we've discussed is that she needs some experience to help her explore her options.  I believe that she could make a great contribution to any firm she joins this summer and hopefully someone will take the same chance on her that GM took on me when I first started interning around the same age. 

If you contact Christina, please also leave a comment on this post.  It will be interesting to see how much interest this blog is able to generate and whether or not this new medium can help her out. 

And no, she does not have a blog of her own... yet.  However, I think if she gets something over the summer from this blog, it will go a long way to convincing her how blogging can help even a student's career and perhaps that will motivate her to blog her summer internship.  Keep that in mind.  If she gets her internship from a blog, and blogs her experience, it might make for an interesting story and good publicity for your company.

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Baseball and Other Sports Charlie O'Donnell Baseball and Other Sports Charlie O'Donnell

Kick This!

This is now the most exciting thing I've heard all day....

--------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear ZogSports Kickball Captains,

Kickball season is quickly approaching, and we wanted to welcome you to our spring/summer kickball league and provide you with some key dates for information regarding the season.

o Wednesday, April 13th

§ Regular Season schedule will be posted on www.zogsports.org

o Thursday, April 14th

§ Email will be sent allowing captains to add to or adjust their roster as well as change name or charity

o Monday, April 25th

§ Regular season begins

o Shirt pickup Monday, April 18th – Thursday, April 21st Times TBD

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Cheers,

Christie

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Wingblogger

After popping in at a few local tech/blogging events lately, something has become apparently obvious to me.  I need a wingblogger--someone my age as interested as I am in being a part of the more social side of this community that I can drag around to all these events.  For someone who works at a VC firm, I probably have the least tech savvy social network possible.  That makes it incredibly difficult, at least for me, to go to all these events and meet the people I'd like to meet--especially given that, because of my age, I have a natural advantage over a lot of other people in my industry.  I can relate a lot better to a lot of the very creative people that are disrupting some of the markets that USV has interest in.  Even though I may be outgoing, I really do hate doing much of anything alone.  I need to be able to go somewhere, run ideas by someone, recap the event, discuss, plan, etc. 

At the same time, I don't want to be too "networky", which, as a venture guy, is probably about the worst thing you can do, especially in New York.  In spite of the fact the NYC is the financial capital of the world, not everyone doing some kind of interesting project is in it to make it big.  Sometimes, like in the case of the Vimeo/Collegehumor guys, success seems more like an accidental byproduct of serious goofing off.  Not everyone wants their audienced monetized.

Ideally, I'd have a friend or two that worked in media/marketing/tech that was curious about new trends, interested in meeting people, and savvy enough to find some events that I missed.  The management is currently accepting applications for wingbloggers. 

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It's My Life Charlie O'Donnell It's My Life Charlie O'Donnell

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You

You are the best litmus test you have for other people.  Don't hide yourself from others when you first meet them for fear of scaring them off.  Chances are, if they aren't ok with the reality of who you are the first time around, they aren't going to get any more comfortable as time marches on.  I never liked the idea of personality of something that needs to be leaked out in small doses as if you were trying to slowly poison the other person with it.  The big fear is that by putting yourself out there up front, you can get yourself hurt.  The truth of the matter is that the less time you take to get things out in the open, the less you'll have invested if its all too much for the other person to take.  That saves you getting hurt more than anything else.  Your experiences, sketchy or otherwise, are who you are and not to be apologized for.  Make no excuses for what got yourself to this moment.  Perhaps if we were all so comfortable with ourselves in the first place, we wouldn't do have the regrettable things that make opening up so uncomfortable.  I hate "excuse me" personalities.  I wish more people were "take me or leave me."  I can respect that immensely.

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