I first heard Mitch Hedberg on the XM Radio comedy station. I think the first think I heard him say was that he wanted to be a race car passenger that bugs the driver.
"Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down.
Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide ..."
I thought the Tide thing was hilarious and from then on, I was hooked. I saw him on Comedy Central once... hair in front of his face, just barely audible, deadpan delivery. Think of what Steven Wright would be if he looked like Kurt Cobain, and he was more random. That was Mitch Hedberg. I missed it, but apparently they found him in a hotel room in Minnesota two weeks ago. I'm really sorry to see this guy go. I was actually online looking for tickets to shows and they had an announcement on his site. Here are some other Mitch quotes:
I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number. Something like, 222-2222. I would say sweet. People would say,
"Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I would say, "Press 2 for a while, and when I answer, you will know that you have pressed 2
I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big
truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles was a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."
I get the Reese's candy bar. If you read that name Reese's thats an
apostrophe S. Reese's apostrophe S at the end of that
name. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time
you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes
by and says "let me have that", you better hand it over. "I'm sorry,
Reese. I didn't think I'd ever run into you."
I was in a bar, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a
fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire
When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a
waiting list. They start calling out names, they say
"Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers
they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two,
Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go
right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but
what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat
at a time like this - people are missing. You fuckers are
selfish... the Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct
tape over their mouths. And they're hungry! That's a double
whammy. We need help. Bush, search party of three! You can eat when you find the Dufranes.