This is not Fine: How to work in Chaotic TImes

We're all aware of the endless stream of dreadful headlines that have fuelled the longevity of the "This is fine" meme since it first appeared in 2013. 

(This dog's name, btw, is the Question Hound and he's made by this guy. Here's more about the pup's origins if you're curious.)

Yet, despite all the fire, each of us still has the basics of everyday life to deal with. 

The other day, I sat with a venture coaching client (info on my practice here). She had a close family member get a difficult health diagnosis and it weighed on her as she pondered the purpose of the career she had chosen. 

It's kind of hard to be fully present for a startup pitch--the next big thing in AI or whatever--when you're thinking about an illness in your family. 

I guess you just have to keep the mission of venture capital close to your heart to act as a beacon in the darkness.

That mission, of course, being...

[checks notes] 

"Delivering outsized returns to our limited partners--wealthy individuals and institutions."

Yeah, um... not exactly "live free or die" is it?

That's when something I had arrived at in an earlier conversation bubbled up. 

I asked him:

👉 "What if the most important goal of a VC was to alleviate founder stress?"

He was trying to figure out what the point of all these work things were that seemed smaller than what was going on in his life and I suggested that maybe the point was to figure out how to be there for someone who perhaps was bearing the weight of a similar struggle.

What if investors did this not as a side benefit, but as the primary lens through which every action is measured:

⚖️ “Does this increase or decrease the stress level of the founders I’ve backed?”

Most venture capital isn’t designed this way. It isn't what mentors in VC will tell you the job is all about. 

In fact, raising VC money almost always increases founder stress. Expectations grow. The stakes go up. The pressure compounds.

When I floated this idea, some common counter arguments came up:

🚫 “If the only goal were to reduce stress, you’d never push founders to grow.”

🚫 “VCs have a fiduciary duty to LPs. Sometimes pressure is necessary.”

🚫 “Startups are inherently stressful—if you can’t handle that, maybe you shouldn’t do it.”

🚫 “Comfort doesn’t create urgency.”

But I don’t buy that these objections hold up:

✅ The best founders don’t need VCs to push them. They’re already driven far beyond what any investor could manufacture and great founders don’t need manufactured urgency.

✅ There’s no evidence that pressuring founders produces better outcomes. In fact, stress often degrades decision-making and fuels short-term thinking.

✅ No one can sustain this level of stress alone. Founders need support systems and positive outlets if they’re going to endure the marathon of building something lasting.

This isn’t about coddling. It’s about recognizing that sustainable performance requires emotional sustainability. If a VC’s presence leaves founders more anxious, more isolated, and more exhausted, that’s not “help.”

❓ I’m curious—what do you think? Should venture capital re-center itself around the well-being of the people actually doing the work?

Why limit this to venture?

What about work in general?

🎯 Isn't the only thing we can all really do these days is try our best to show up professionally and personally for others who might be having as difficult a time as we are? 

That thought reminded me of a passage from a great article, "My therapist can't save me from capitalism, and yours can't save you, either", that my friend and fellow coach Eric Nehrlich shared:

"...Healing doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens in relationship—not just with a therapist, but with community.

My therapist can help me process my feelings about living in a world where eggs cost $8/dozen. But it's my friends that send me UberEats codes when my freelance checks are running late.

My therapist can help me understand why I feel guilty taking sick days in a culture that equates productivity with worth. But it's my friends who tell me to sit my ass down when I'm trying to push through the unpushthrough-able.

My therapist can help me practice setting boundaries with exploitative employers. But it's my community that affirms: "they pay you for 40/hour weeks, not 24/7.""

This also tied back to the book Fragile Neighborhoods that I'm listening to that mentioned how mentors at Baltimore-based Thread--a long-term mentoring initiative that connects adolescents with up to four adult mentors each--report profound personal rewards for volunteering. They experience purpose and emotional fulfillment through consistent, relational engagement. Their interactions contribute to improved outcomes for the youth—better graduation rates, more stability—which in turn reinforces the mentors' sense of impact and belonging in their community.

Impact and belonging are two things in really short supply these days. Digging down deep into your reserves to do what you can for others--even when it seems like you don't have much to give, might be the biggest source of replenishment and meaning.