Every time I see Jeff Bagwell, I want to get on my Total Gym. He looks like Chuck Norris."
Of course, I don't know who said the quote, because I'm watching the game on closed caption at DTUT while I write my Stanford Essays.
I was just IMing Anne and she wrote, regarding the impending jump to grad school...
Besublime5: plus, you have savings
BeSublime5: after working 3 years
BeSublime5: it's goin broke that's the salt in the wound
To which I replied:
Ceo21: Dude... I'm loaning this sucker out
Ceo21: I'm not tapping my equity
Ceo21: Its an MBO of myself.
I love that concept. Grad school is like a management buyout of yourself, using a lot of leverage. haha
In fact, it gives me a bit of inspiration around the theme of my new blog when I move from Blogger to Typepad.
I think I need to get out of here... at least, for a little while.
I remember a conversation I had with a Jesuit scholastic on one of my Emmaus retreat. He had dated before he became a priest, worked at a job in the legal profession, but he realized he needed a change. As he put it, he just realized that "If something was going to happen with all that, it would have happened already," meaning job, family, house, etc.
I think I need to leave NYC for a while... to shake loose some friends I keep going back to for who knows what reason, and to test some friendships to see if they can withstand a dramatic scene change. I want to know who follows me with calls and visits. There are some people that may choose to come along, but I can't wait up for anyone. What I am going to do is going to be a positive influence on the world around me... and I can't force it on people who don't want to be a part of it.
My boss and I talked today, because I needed his recommendation for the application, and that opened up a whole pandora's box of issues related to my place in the firm. He said something interesting to me. He told me that he thought I had plans that were greater than what I could do there. Going into the conversation, I felt like maybe there were things above me that I couldn't get to... I didn't expect him to turn the tables on me and tell me that there weren't enough things I could do there to be as great as I could be.
When I was a Regis freshmen, I got intimidated by my surroundings, because no one told me what I had the potential to accomplish. I learned that lesson late, and tried to make up for it at Fordham.
In the last day or so, I've found clarity of vision. I understand now how Stanford fits into my life... because its the best and biggest thing I have the potential to do right now, and I shouldn't be shooting for anything less than that. I don't want to look back on my life over the next few years and think I left anything on the table. Let's see how far this can go. I want to let it ride.
This is going to be big. I can feel it.
So I definately just stole a towel from the gym this morning. I've never done that before. It was in my hand and I just walked out with it. I didn't notice it until I wiped the sweat from my forehead about halfway home and realized that I've never been able to do that. :)
Anyway, so I had a random run in with someone I knew in high school yesterday and it got me thinking. Its really interesting when you are younger that you get into accepted modes of thinking about certain people... people who were out of your group, or in your group but then seperated. You fall in with a certain crowd and inevitably, their ideas about certain people become generally accepted thinking. Later on, sometimes you are lucky enough to cross paths later in life and realize that these were pretty decent people after all... of course you realize this after you figure out that the crowd you may have been in wasn't all you thought it was cracked up to be either. Its a lesson I've experienced several times and I need to do a better job of remembering it. Just because they are your girlfriend's best friend or rooomate, doesn't make them your friend, too. Just because the crowd your in parts ways with someone, doesn't mean they aren't worth keeping around in your own life. Be very careful to judge people by association, because perspective can skew things in odd ways.
Its funny. When I ran into this girl, Lauren, she asked who I still hung out with. Its been over a year since I've seen or heard from Dena, and having this genuinely pleasant run-in with this girl just made me wonder whether I need to be more discerning about who I invest time with in my life.