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« Don't be undressed on the internet | Main | Local Schwag Bearers »

Chris Christie Should Own the Cone #trafficgate

I am stunned over this #trafficgate scandal where Chris Christie apparently caused a bunch of traffic with some fake road closures in order to strongarm another politico into getting his support.

Just stunned...  that people don't think this kind of thing goes on everyday.

And stunned that we think this is anywhere near the worst of it.  I don't know about you, but this seems like child's play compared to my assumptions around what probably happens in Washington.  

I mean, you guys have been watching House of Cards, right?

This is why all you have in Washington are fake political types--because, by the time anyone reaches that height, the only people left standing aren't the best people, they're the best at playing the game.  They aren't the people who accomplished the most--they're the people who avoided headlines and never get their hands dirty.

Well, maybe we could use a guy who gets his hands dirty and says some things he shouldn't now and then.  It's not like the current system works.  Wouldn't you want Obama to cause some huge traffic jam in Utah right now over their reversal on gay marriage?  What if, instead of having to curry favor by overspending on other people's pet projects, we could just settle this with traffic jams?   I'd love to see someone cause a few traffic jams in Republican districts.

If I were Chris Christie right now, I'd seriously consider owning this, because the media is never going to let him forget it otherwise.  They were dying to cast him as Tony Soprano--the fat guy from Jersey who breaks a few bones now and then.  Now the story is that an ambulence was delayed because of the traffic jam.  Didn't you know where it was going there?  The fat bully from Jersey kills people!  They tried to do that with Citibikes.  Same story.  Citibike racks caused a delay in getting a patient out of a building--bike sharing kills!!

That's what the media does--and boy, do we eat it up.  Christie Christie is now the mafia.  You don't want to elect a mafia president, right?

I dunno.

Maybe things would... actually get done.

If I were Chris Christie, I'd say, "Yes, I'm a fat guy from Jersey and in addition to causing traffic jams, we occasionally put horses heads in people's beds and send fish.  Sometimes, we get other politicians on board through fear and intimidation and that's how it works.  You don't like it, but does it really surprise you?  If you would rather pretend that we live in a world of puppies and rainbows, where politicians just work find ways to work together for the greater good of the people, cast your votes elsewhere the next time I'm running for something.  I want to live in that world, but that's just not reality.  You either play tough or you sell out.  Most politicians are sellouts.  If you'd rather someone build coalitions by agreeing to spend money on other people's pork projects, then I'll never be your guy.  Did we cause a traffic jam?  You bet your ass we did.  Am I sorry for it?  Not one bit.  Chris Christie is a guy not to be fucked with.  Elect me president and North Korea will experience the worst traffic jam you've ever seen."

Instead, he's going to deny the whole thing and lie to our faces.  Any hopes of putting a real person in office, not that I even supported him, will be dashed and he'll just become another huge empty suit playing the game.

Did I mention I could never ever get elected to any political office? 

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