Storm Force (Or... How men shop)

The other day, I went into Duane Reade to buy some deodorant.

There were two on the shelf of the brand I normally buy, in two different scents:

STORM FORCE and cool mountain misty flower breeze somethingorother fluffy cotton bunnies

Now, of course I bought STORM FORCE, because that's the way I want to smell...  like the FORCE of a STORM.  STORM FORCE-- Two words that imply power, but mean absolutely nothing when put together in that order. 

I need this.  I must have this.  I want to walk down the street with a team of roofers behind me replacing shingles on rooftops.  I don't want admirers... I want debris.  FEMA should call me every morning after I put it on to see if everything is ok.

STORM FORCE

STORM FORCE

Because most of all, that's the way women want their men smelling, right?

Hmm... wait... I need to rethink this.

Maybe STORM FORCE wasn't the right move there.

Perhaps I should have gone with the misty cool fluffy mountain bunnies.