Dear TV...

Dear TV,

     I'm afraid this isn't really going to work out.  There's someone else.  Actually, there's a couple of others... there's the web, and, well, its not even just the web... there's my whole life, with the softball and the kayaking, and you just don't fit into it with your rigid scheduling and DRM lifestyle.

     You always want to do things on your terms...  showing shows only at certain times, only at home on my couch.  God forbid you let me copy a show and watch it on my computer or a video iPod.  Its all about you... you don't want to share and I'm just a free spirit.  You can't keep me caged in anymore.

     I want a relationship that lets me watch Jeopardy on the subway the morning after it airs... or even in a podcast on my bike.  I'm willing to go halfway--I'll even take the commercials with me if it makes you feel better, but no, you're not happy about that.  And, even when you do let me take a show with me, you want me to pay for each one individually.

     Why do you have to be so controlling?  You could be so much more.  You could just publish all the content freely and attach ads to it and let people take them wherever they want.  You could break free from the box... why do you keep holding back?

     You know, I thought things were getting better.  I was watching those funny SNL clips on YouTube and it made me feel like I wanted to get close to you again... maybe work things out.  But then you went and spoiled everything.

     I'm tired of feeling so confined.  There's a whole big world out there, and if you don't want to come with me, on my phone, on my Ipod, on the computer, then I think we need to end this.  You're so stuck in your ways and if you don't change, you're going to die alone. 

     I don't regret any of our time together...  our afternoons when I was 9, watching Airwolf, two episodes of Knight Rider, and two episodes of the A-Team...  but I'm 26 now and I need something more.  I'm sorry.

Charlie

PS...  There wasn't enough sex either.