There's something about going away that really puts your life into perspective. Whether its a trip across the country, a few hour roadtrip, or a spiritual retreat, taking a step away really does make a lot of things clear. While I'm a big advocate of solving your issues from the inside, as oppossed to running away from them and stepping away, I still think you need some time to reset to make things clear.
When I was dating Vanessa, I used to love to dance with her. The one thing I have to say about her, she was totally accepting of someone's individuality, no matter how they chose to express themselves. I felt that the most when we danced. I loved dancing with her more than anyone else, because I could do anything... totally act out, be ridiculous, and she never had an issue with it. I could just express whatever I was feeling. I got used to that feeling. When I dated Liz the actress, we went out to Culture Club... er... not CC... the other one... the 70's place. I can't think of the name. We were dancing, and she kept unbuttoning the second button on my shirt. I had a tshirit on under, so it didn't matter... but it just wasn't how I wanted it. I kept fixing it, but she was insistant. That little button incident really really struck a chord, because she wanted it a certain way without regard to what I was feeling. I know it seems silly, but I felt like, in a small way, she was trying to change me.
I think it was at that moment that I realized how important a value I placed on having my individuality appreciated. Its something we all deserve, but we really get it from so few people. A lot of people dont' even take the time to get to know us as well as they should, let alone value us for what makes us different.
When I find someone, I'm not going to care whether or not they like the color orange, or wear weird shoes... but one thing is for sure... we're going to take the time to know who we are and appreciate each other for that. I don't want to feel like I'm being fit into some ideal perception of a boyfriend or anything like that.
"They professed to love him for some unknown reason and they ignored all the things for which he could hope to be loved for." -- Atlas Shrugged
On a completely different note, my song of the moment is "I'm your Boogeyman by Rob Zombie." In fact, I think that all cheesy 70's disco should be covered by Rob Zombie. I could listen to disco if Rob Zombie covered it.