Dear Future Wife (Whoever she may be)

If you should discover that, after decades of marriage and a meteoric career, I have spent $80k on high priced hookers, please dump my ass...

...right on the street...

...in public...

...right in the middle of my press conference.

Do not be supportive.  I do not deserve it.

Do not keep my kids around me.  They'd be better off if I wasn't around.