Sometimes students need gentle prodding

...other times you need to hit them over the head with a brick.

I run a mentoring program and attendence at some of our breakfasts was lagging because many of the students were afraid of their i-banking internship peers getting more hours in the office than them.  So I sent them this note:

STUDENTS, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ AND CONSIDER THIS…

I’ve spoken to a number of students who are experiencing some issues attending breakfasts because of work conflicts or just the requirements of their job’s hours. 

I understand this.  When you joined SEMI back in January, you probably figured that one breakfast a week that ended at 8:30/9 would be easy to attend.  Then you got to your internships and not only did you feel the pressure of competition from other interns, but you feel like the offer is looming over you and you don’t want to risk anything. 

This is an interesting thought exercise in the psychology of market behavior.  Students think that the way to get an offer is to outwork their peers on the job…  to beat them out in terms of hours spent.  To not miss any gatherings, getogethers, or meetings.  So, every student does the same thing… works ridiculous hours an attends everything.  Because they’re all acting the same way, their ability to actually differentiate from their peers is minimal, and the cost of this minimal differentation is great…  lots of hours, lots of stress.

Is there a better approach?  What about if you said to your supervisor at your i-banking firm, “I have the opportunity to go to Blackstone’s offices and meet with some key people there.  I really feel like making some of these contacts might make me more valuable to the firm and I’d be happy to make up the hours another day.”   

First off, there’s no doubt that you would be more valuable to the firm in my mind.  Second, now you’ve seperated yourself from the pack.  You’ve presented yourself as a go-getter looking to add value to the firm in several different ways, not just through hours. 

But is there risk?  Will you be the only one not going to a meeting?  Showing up at 9:30 one day?  Will that look bad?  Will you lose your offer?

Maybe if you skipped out to go to Great Adventure or because you were hungover… but if you approached your manager and told them exactly what you were doing. absolutely not.  Plus, the worst that could happen is that they say no.

Actually, that’s not true.  That’s not the worst that could happen.  The worst that could happen is that they say no and they’re not happy in your taking interest in talking to other firms and making professional connections… and that you still actually go to work for these people who are so closed minded and unreasonable

You should really be aiming to work in an environment where you have supervisors that take an active interest in your professional development and see the benefit of the networking connections that a visit to Blackstone would bring in.  If they don’t, do you really want to work for them anyway?  Now is the time when you should be aiming high, being a little idealistic, and taking these types of “risks” (even though I don’t think this is very risky.)  Behaving just like everyone else and trying to be the last one out of the office is something you do when you’re at a place 20 years and you’re trying to protect your reputation or your pension.  Its not something you do now at this age.  It strikes me that so many of you want to work in investing, where people get paid for taking risk and only for taking risk, yet many students I speak with are so paralyzed by fear that they don’t want to step an inch out of like at their precious internships. 

You’re too young and have too much potential to start conceding these types of quality of life issues.  I’ve always strived to work for employers who understood that the more well rounded and balanced I was, the more valuable I was to the firm…. and they saw me as more valuable to the firm than the firm being valuable to me.  I was the capital… I was the product, and they took an active interest in my development and well being…and happiness, too.  That’s why I had a unique career path that was different than the strict paths many of you are hanging on for dear life to.

And then people ask me how to get into private equity.  You want to know how to get into private equity?  Take an hour off from your internship tomorrow.  Come to Blackstone (in business attire) tomorrow morning, and make great friends with [one of the hosts of our breakfast].  Stay in touch with her… try to angle your way into a lunch.  Impress the hell out of her so you can score some inroads to a fall internship or a chance to recruit at Blackstone, the #1 Buyout firm in the

US

.  That’s the way.

But, no, I’ll still probably only see 10 of you there tomorrow and you’ll sacrifice the rest of the summer, killing yourself when you didn’t really need to, to get a position you probably had in the bag anyway without tomorrow morning’s extra hour or two.  Then, when you’re 25, you’ll be totally burnt out and you’ll meet me at a SEMI reunion and ask me about getting into private equity or venture capital again.  Trust me, its very frustrating to watch when students don’t realize that real success means blazing your own trail on your own terms.

That’s all I have to say.  I hope to see more than 8 of you tomorrow.

Charlie